I am of the belief that you can never truly know
what it means to love unconditionally until you have loved a child.
To look at that tiny-helpless-sometimes
terrorist-like- little being and wonder how you’ll protect him/her from any
form of hurt.
The first time I saw him he seemed ‘off’ for
lack of a better expression. But truly it felt weird but I was happy. I was
scared that how would I play my role in the life of this being God has brought
into my life? Would I be faithful in my prayers for him? Would I teach him the
right things? Trying to keep his innocence but making sure he isn’t naïve and
blind to the world; to recognize and separate the black, white and grey areas.
Then it began to seem as if when I go to work
and come back at night, you’ve grown bigger. Would I be there when you take
your first step or say your first proper word? If you’ll eat the wrong thing or
experience a great fall and scrap a knee.
I wonder that 13 years from now when you are
taller than me would you still be my friend. Would you smile when you see me or
dread my visits?
Would you tell me about the babes in your class
or your experience on your last holiday? Would you ask me to pray with you or
would I have to get on my knees everyday for your salvation?
My fussing won’t solve any issues; you’ll fall
down (as you must have already done like two million times); you’ll take me for
granted because I’ll let you; you’ll ask me weird and awkward questions that I’ll
have to pray for the wisdom to answer; you’ll annoy me but I will forgive you; you’ll
codedly ask me for stuff your mum says no to; you’ll like a girl and she won’t
like you back; you’ll get angry at God because you won’t understand why certain
things happen.
But I know all this is just me worrying, I have
no doubt the greatness you’ll grow up to become and every experience- good and
bad- will set you on that path. The Joy you held in your fists when you came
from heaven can’t be questioned. For truly God sent you to teach me how to love……
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