Being alone hurts, I don’t necessarily mean the absence of an intimate or marital relationship but being alone physically and emotionally and you know there is no one to pick up the phone and call because the people you know are too busy, they won’t be patient enough to understand or they just don’t care!
This is specifically real to those who have had
to be the ‘strong one’ in almost all their relationships (with family, friends
and partners); who on some days just NEED to be the ones at the receiving end
of affection and encouragement but yet can’t get it; like the world forgets
they are human and don’t feel the need to express or share emotion.
Besides the strong ones, there are people who
genuinely have no one and in the midst of the crowd they are usually the life
of the party; making people double over in rib cracking laughter but do you
ever wonder what happens when the lights are out and they are alone in their
room wondering if they would ever experience the gift of knowing at least one
person cares about their existence and sees beyond the well mastered smile.
I’ve felt alone before (more times than I dare
to recall) and I know what it’s like to not want to go home when you know the
party/hang out is coming to an end, or when a new friendship is losing its
initial excitement (because you once hoped this person may be the exception) or to
even not just feel like praying because for once you feel the need to speak to
a human being you can see and not the God who lives in your heart (no offence
but you get what I’m saying).
I’ve never had answers to the questions that
come up when I’m in this place of being alone and sometimes afraid but all I
know is I often heal, maybe not wholly but at least enough not to be hopeless
and believe I have to just get up and move on. I also try to ‘get over myself’
and focus on something or someone else (this isn’t always easy, believe!). And
this brings me to the question…….how many of us really stop to think of the ‘real’
reason behind that friend’s text, ping or email? Or why that friend or brother
is always the one who gives all the support, I mean who makes them believe in
themselves or happy the way they make you?
It’s easy to fall into a comfortable pattern of
receiving from family and friends but when do you give? Someone once said it’s not
such a bad thing when people take you for granted because it means they trust
you or you’re dependable but really there is only so much a human being can
take (that is why we are not God, we don’t possess His infinite powers to be
divinely strong every day and even God has feelings).
So stop for a minute and genuinely ask how
someone is doing; and if they reach out to you 10-15 minutes to pay attention
to them isn’t too much- it’s not always the money or great advice you offer
that matters, sometimes the fact that you gave your time and allowed them express
whatever they need to is enough. It involves sacrifice; hold back on your own
needs for a second to hear what someone else is saying; a gentle touch on the
shoulder or squeeze of the hand may be reassuring enough; smile at a friend
even when your own day isn’t going so great because you may never know if your
kind gesture would squash their thoughts of sadness and in extreme cases
suicide.
Be the reason someone has hope and sincerely
smiles………
