Keep it simple

I thought ‘deep’ or ‘complicated’ was better so I often desired to be perceived that way. I have been described as ‘intelligent’, ‘wise’ or having ‘more to me than what I revealed’ yet that wasn’t sufficient; hence there was constant turmoil between who I thought I should be and who I truly am.

I like simple; simple is stress-free, at least eventually because life may not always be easy but we can function in simplicity. I like straightforward honest expression of thoughts; easy conversation; no games or guessing in friendships or romantic relationships; simple personal style; simple work so even though I can be a workaholic once I find something I enjoy, I do not need anyone to stress or micro manage me into delivering my responsibilities.  I even like simple ‘beauty’ and makeup application which turned out to be a bit of a problem considering I am a makeup artist in Nigeria where the industry and most of its stakeholders do not accept simple.

So for years I craved more because I felt simple wasn’t enough; it affected my writing style, my conversations, my business dealings or pursuit,  the knowledge I searched for and the relationships I tried to establish and keep which ended because I felt they were false or forced.

Thankfully, through a long process of self-discovery and acceptance which is still on going, I decided that I would stick with ‘simple’ because that is me. I stopped to think that where did my pursuit of complicated get me? Seriously where were my rewards for being so ‘deep’? I could be my person and there will still be room- and acceptance- for what I have to offer in and through every aspect of my life.

And I also learnt that people actually do like simple too; they think they like deep and unearthly or grandiose but they like simple just like I do. Or maybe they feel their accomplishments and results can only be validated by complex efforts. I mean the occasional drama and mountain shaking moments do not hurt because they may be fun or scary or can’t be controlled but that’s what makes life, life! So they like simple but they think it is not enough.

I have followed a particular French blogger for years and after a while I stopped keeping tabs; I got distracted or I got bored with her but recently I stumbled upon her twitter handle and decided to go to her blog and after a few reads I knew she too had gone through a process of growth. So I renewed my vow to her; she had gone through her process of wanting more or perhaps thinking she was enough and then completely losing herself. But she was back and better and reading a few of her posts that gave me this insight, kind of gave me clarity to be able to explain my own experience too.

I have come to accept that it is a never ending journey; I am learning to be bold again (I say again because I once was) because that’s part of simplicity; like ask questions if I don’t know; say no when I have to; say yes when I want it; learn from others; to be consistent and focus on the main goal rather than on complex methods that leave me frustrated.

This is not permission to be lazy; being weak-willed and lazy would not help us to learn, to grow, to cut off what doesn’t serve us and to be courageous enough to stand for our ‘simple’ whether it is popular or not. For ‘simple’ is beautiful and peace of mind is crucial.

Teach your rug to fly

Out of the thousands of books I’ve read, one that I thoroughly enjoyed is ‘who moved my cheese’ by Spencer Johnson, I read it a few years ago during a training I attended, and though I learnt some lessons, I can say authoritatively that there are some things theory won’t teach you until you experience and learn first-hand.

My cheese has been moved a few times, to be honest I’ve woken up before and found that the whole station has been moved or demolished; what is so sad is that there were some instances when I saw this coming but I didn’t trust myself enough to make the right choice or I was too lazy or afraid of the unknown. I used to say ‘impatience’ when someone asked me to mention a character flaw/something about me I could change; and over time in an attempt to not be an impatient person I had become fearful and often accommodated or adapted to situations that though I knew were wrong, I’d tell myself to calm down and ‘learn lessons’, ‘live through it and come out stronger’, ‘put in more effort’, blah blah blah!

I looked back  few years of my life and realized I had often accepted much less than I deserved; not because I have a heightened sense of my own importance but because I now have a better knowledge of who I am and can be. I also recognize that I got too comfortable when the ‘cheese’ seemed sufficient so I was often left frustrated at every slight change or disruption in my routine

And in extreme cases when ‘the rug gets pulled from under you’ it is not pretty; you blame the whole world including your dead ancestors and haters, you give excuses and cook up all sorts of stories about how unlucky you are, it just so happens that this period you run into old friends from school who seem to have the perfect life while you 'Mr/Miss most likely to succeed’ is living to make ends meet and you fall in and out of depression and self-condemnation and how life is unfair.

……..I’m glad I can laugh and write about this now, because I’ve learnt the importance of teaching your rug to fly or at least being able to roll it up and run with it to the next point; we won’t always have control of things that happen to us but we can learn to control how we react to those things which at the end makes us better. None of us have been promised The Perfect Life but rather than sulk at every misfortune and be static, I am willing to be better; to get up and act when I need to and not sit down in anger or throwing pity parties.

** the image is of calvin and hobbes on their imaginary magic carpet; the dialogue is funny but made me think about how some people can still be hung on certain issues even after they have been blessed with the chance to move on

Passion and Practice Pt III: Life

I couldn’t think of a ‘deep’ title for this post…..Lol!

So I simply called it “Life”.....which is something I've been thinking a lot about lately; why are we here? What are we supposed to do while we’re here? And why do we go through the things we do?

Trust me the questions don’t come as easily as I make it sound and it’s not so much a fun conversation to have but anyway, I’m grateful to be ‘here’

I like photography…..it hasn't been made known to me if it would be a profession however I thoroughly enjoy the art and idea of capturing emotions, history and events.

The pictures below were taken by me, I’m lazy and shy but I practice as often as I can. I was going through my folders and these are some of the pictures that ‘jumped at’ me……and I genuinely think they signify ‘life’ or ‘beginning’ or ‘existence’ in some way……I’ll let you have your opinion too…….

Enjoy!

They say Green is the color of life but when I see yellow flowers they signify life for me more than green does. Yellow flowers just…errrm…make me hopeful!

'Anticipating new life'……at a baby shower organized for a friend

I think this picture is a bit blurry blah blah but I love it! This is my friend’s introduction and she was being ushered out by friends and family to go meet her husband and in-laws…….the beginning of a new life! I love how everyone else seemed to be looking at her or something else and only she was smiling and looking forward.

I know how I felt when I took this picture, unfortunately I’m not sure how well to express myself…..it was beautiful, I was reminded of God’s awesomeness and ability to sustain EVERYTHING and then I was scared as I was in a boat and it’s not one of my favorite places to be.

I’m fascinated by sea shells- I don’t go to the beach often and when I do, I make sure I pick some – it’s amazing that they were once a covering for something that lived and died…….beautiful armor!

Death is a necessary part of life…………

***Happy Easter everyone! My genuine prayer for you is that you experience hope…..hope and faith that helps you live again; to resurrect dead dreams and your God-given aspirations and unwavering strength to stand firm!