“……It is
only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found……”
John Nash
I doubt that I have ever been in love, in
retrospect maybe I have been in lust, or in complete delusion, but not sure
about love. I mean I don’t exactly fancy anyone I have dated in the past so is
it possible that the ‘Love’ I had for them died? Does love die?! Well that is conversation
for another day.
I blame this on the fact that I am yet to
adequately receive or understand love for what it truly is.
The quote above is from ‘A Beautiful Mind’ a movie
about the life of 1994 Nobel Prize in Economics winner, John Nash; I think you
should google/YouTube his speech at the end of the movie when he made that
statement; for me I gathered that HIS experiences made him conclude that Love,
though mysterious and unexplainable actually gives balance and essence to life
(and maybe validation for all our hard work).
I wrote ‘HIS’ in capital letter because it was a
personal conviction moulded by life’s trials and tests which he survived
because he had and experienced LOVE; Love had been a solution, soothing his
fears and helping him fight his demons. Love was a first-hand experience of
peace after the storm, provider of strength in his weakness and cheerleader
when his self-esteem was below zero.
It did not need to be heart racing, stomach
twisting, every day beautiful and rosy, we-need-to-breathe-eachother-kind; it
was simply an Anchor, a Companion at ALL times- Good and Bad!
I believe in Respect, Friendship, Trust
and Commitment; I once told a group of people that I didn’t need to be in love
to get married. All but one person thought I was crazy and was only saying that
because I was ignorant or cynical. Well I stated my case and we all agreed to
disagree.
I’ve seen too many victims of love; and before you
start helping me imagine how I have lived a bitter life, no thank you very
much, I have had my fair share of disappointments however I am not in any way
an ‘angry woman’ rather one open to learn and develop a healthy understanding. I
genuinely do not want a perverted view of what I will be sharing with one
person for the rest of my life- that’s too long a time to be miserable.
Some may argue that well the character of study
here didn’t have all the ‘wisdom’ at the beginning of his marriage/relationship,
yes I know but I can bet his partner was already a great supporter, she showed
respect for him, was committed to what they shared and she also had faith and
believed in him and THEM (mutually and as individuals).
I don’t believe in you waiting for another human
being to bring all the solutions to your problems but when you decide to be with someone, definitely you do not want to take a leap into sinking sand; No matter your partner’s own convictions and
background, they should bring some level of peace and not stress to the life
you intend to share.
Like I never fail to say, I don’t have all the
answers but I try to keep an open mind and my few years interacting with humans
have taught me that you can’t make choices based on the butterflies in your
stomach because they will die; I have seen that people change; I have seen
people genuinely believe they loved someone but didn’t; that most of us are
selfish and indecisive and inconsiderate of the consequences of our actions on
other’s hearts; that there is a popular expectation/image by the world of what
love is however this is the death of most of us and that though there are no
rules, we are ever led by our intuitions and innate convictions in matters of
the heart yet often fail to listen.
**I genuinely
hope we have the courage to follow through when we are shown what to do – in relationships
and all life’s events.
**Your
opinions matter (most times) so kindly comment ; ) Thanks
