One night I couldn’t sleep so I decided to scroll through Instagram and for some reason I came across a lot of couples; various pictures of people and their partners and I thought to myself “how are these people to each other when not on Instagram?” Everyone is well made up (even some men), looking beautiful and dapper, all fresh skinned and flawless but what really goes on when the lights and props are down and out, crew members have gone home and it is just 2 of them?
It led me to think about partners who never completely ‘show’ themselves while dating. I had a friend years ago whose man friend never saw her without makeup!! In my opinion, that is just too much pressure. Besides physical appearance, what true traits do we display? Have you or your partner ever done something months after being together and the reaction is “I am dead! What have I got myself into?” One funny example I have is a friend who didn’t know her then boyfriend had OCD as he lived in a different town and was in for a rude awakening when she stayed over for a few days, she actually confessed to questioning her own cleanliness.
I respect process and how somethings may require time to rear their heads however we should also be honest and admit that we hold back sometimes and live life as if there are always paparazzi at every corner, even inside our houses oh!
I thought about a few things that ‘regular’ people deal with and there is no filter to conceal these matters. I also asked friends who are dating or married;
o A Female trying to get rid of facial hair – trust me the struggle to get rid of a moustache or under chin hair is real for some of my kind
o Getting rid of hair in other places you do not want them.
o Please know that there is no pretty way to bath or shave; all those soap and razor adverts are liars
o Dealing with unpleasant breath; and not just bad morning breath but that end of the day thing when your partner kisses you after eating all the food in the world.
o Fart – you may ask is this even a thing to hold back? For some people, yes it is.
o Eating when you are ridiculously hungry – so years ago I had a crush on a guy and then I saw him eat (guzzle a bowl of food) when he was really hungry! *closes eyes for effects*........ Let’s just leave it.
o How you behave when you are really hungry and food doesn’t come quick enough; ever seen the meme of a dog looking shame faced with the caption “I am sorry for all I said when I was hungry”? It is not a joke; people are badly behaved when hungry
o The look on your face when exercising (and out of breathe) or taking a dump
o Trying to cover up things like stretch marks, cellulites, scars, uneven body parts, love handles and belly folds – please note that your partner also has at least 1 of these and it is NOT a bad thing
o When your nose, armpit or privates itch – Please what is the neat way of handling this issue?
o Drooling, talking in your sleep or snoring – this can be very ugly.
o When you are broke or how you handle money
o When you are ill – some people change personality and you start to wonder
o When you are angry – some people are yet to learn how not to transfer aggression or separate events and people, so once their mood changes it is time to run for cover.
These are just a few of the things I could think of; please feel free to share your own ‘reality’ in your relationship.
Make sure you see your partner on a bad or lazy day- in shorts, rumpled t-shirt, no makeup, unshaved and in an unpleasant situation. Seriously, some people look completely different when they are not all dressed up and arranged. It’s easy to call this being superficial but please be realistic; you have to be sure you are still attracted to the person without their beauty enhancing armour!