I recently read some of my old blog posts and notes that never got published and it was a bitter sweet feeling; it made me aware that I had matured but I was a bit sad because I had lost some of my humour. Most of my recent posts are serious and I couldn’t help but wonder why.
I miss the silly girl who imagined funny situations and shared that goofiness; now I express more ‘deep’ issues, sigh! I am an advocate for growth but not when it makes you worry you are losing who you truly are.
This affected my writing because I had almost completely lost how to see the humour in life’s experiences; I was constantly on the edge, looking for perfection in all my work and seeking acceptance from everyone else but myself.
And I forgot why I started this blog which was originally from a happy/positive place. I am not making any promises to start reeling out strictly jokes because truly sharing lessons and experiences was a major motivation for the blog yet I agree that I need to relax! I really do not want to become the cynical aunty acid.
This also reinforced my decision to always write....to document my journey, my vision, and my wins, my questions and even seemingly random things like my list below of things that make me happy I wrote few months ago and found in my notes:
· Really good food that makes me dance! Or when I attend an event and I do not have to hustle for everything being served because I know the hosts or the planner is just coordinated like that!
· Gift of Money *giving God a wiper in praise*
· New makeup products to play with, especially when I get for a good deal or freebie
· When my eyeliner wings at first attempt
· Cinnamon powder in my cereal
· A Great song: I cannot give example for I am that annoying person who is constantly shouting “this is my jam!!” like who still uses the word ‘Jam’ to describe a great song
· An amazing movie and just like music I have a LONG list. Then if the movie has a great soundtrack too, dazjuzit!
· Hotel rooms: I don’t blame some people who live permanently in hotels. There is something about the sheets, bathroom, the cold floor, the amazing white light above the sink mirror that helps me when applying makeup!
· Coffee: the smell, the taste, the buzz! However you are now an ex I only occasionally visit.
· Having a ridiculously funny conversation with any of my siblings. They are just the worst!!
***photocredit and shout out to my gurrl Yomi! I was thinking of getting a picture with the Joker and contemplating using it or not, I pick up my phone to reply a message first and there Yomi had JUST uploaded this as her dp!! What other sign did I need really?!