Just embrace it

So it’s almost my birthday and because it is supposedly a ‘milestone’ age a lot of people have been asking me what is happening or how I feel and the likes.

Honestly, I do not know; I do not feel bad or scared and as usual I feel no extra excitement to make noise about it and the likes. I do hope to receive gifts though so my wish list is available.

I have been thinking a lot lately (which honestly is something I do excessively anyway) and one thing I do know is that I am old- not in a bad way but I am aware that I have aged not necessarily because of the number of years I have spent on earth but the quantity of things I have experienced and I know.

Maybe in an attempt to trivialize this growing old/entering my thirties matter, I told myself that it was just my body entering its 30^th year and wondered how a 30 year old ‘body’ should look. But it occurred to me, that to have spent that number of years on this dusty earth mehnnn I am doing ok oh! Really like count 30 years of food (good and bad), water, tears, laughter, pain both physical and emotional, dirt, rain, sun (killer heat), cold, hunger, illness and injuries, medication, human beings’ lies, deceit and disappointments, contact with other bodies, near death experiences &struggles and the list just goes on and on and on; I cannot help but be grateful to God because I know people whose bodies didn’t get the chance to celebrate 30 years on earth.

As humans we have been blessed with the gift of ‘mending ourselves’ and that consoles me at such a time as this, Lol!

I have no birthday blues and I have no intentions of letting anything or anyone upset me; truth be told there are a lot of things that I do not yet know and I do not yet have however I am grateful because it could have been worse.

I recognize that I existed before my body and when the body’s time here is up, she shall go and part ways with me who existed before her.

One of my favorite movies is “Death becomes her” starring Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn (google is ya friend if you do not know it) and I must admit I do not blame them for trying so hard to remain youthful and beautiful forever; you have no idea how scary it is to watch your body try to catch up with the being who existed before you. I have never been one to hide my age yet you don’t know the joy I feel when I ask people to guess my age and they call a figure younger than I am – whether they are lying or not, I believe them! Finish!

My birthday 2 years ago, a friend of mine prayed for me that I will age gracefully, my mind, my health and physical appearance; it was such a sincere prayer I think I believed he genuinely cared for me after that day and I also believed his best wishes for me without a doubt.

But unlike Meryl and Goldie’s characters in the movie, I know there is more to life than physical appearance so I am grateful that there is still a streak of vanity in me: that I have the luxury of thinking of my looks and I am not a victim of some of life’s unfortunate events like homelessness, hunger and mental instability which would have rendered me so low that how I look would not even be a thought!

So today I celebrate life and I celebrate the gift of aging!

*** the first image is a card I fell in love with and had to buy

#Teamgrateful

Recently I’ve been fighting battles that I don’t think I deserve or fought before and “ain’t nobody gat time for that!”; some are supposedly trivial while others are testing my sanity. In the midst of it, a friend of mine asked that I join her and some other ladies in an exercise called ‘#team grateful’; where we make a list of things we’re grateful for everyday for roughly 2 weeks.

To be honest the first few days weren’t easy, I didn’t even remember to make the list and I just sat down, maintaining my position as CEO complaints commission. But one day, I can’t even remember what I was doing but what came to mind was “God thank you for male attention!” It was a funny thing to think about but it dawned on me then that I hadn’t really participated in the Gratitude exercise I signed up for. You may think being grateful for male attention is vain but to me it isn’t; I was really grateful that I still had a sense of humour.

So I decided to make a list of things that I’m grateful for; whether random, funny, serious, in no particular order and experienced often or not, they have made me smile or brought comfort.

…………Cold water on a terribly hot day (suddenly the water will be sweet); eating hot Ewa agoyin (Beans) and plantain/sweet potato/agege bread; watching a sincerely awesome movie (my toes don’t touch the floor from the excitement& suspense); finding money in a corner in my wallet or pocket (I cried once when this happened to me, Lol. Couldn’t believe God’s goodness) or when a debtor pays when I’m broke.

When people pay me compliments about my skin, lipstick, eye brows or weight loss (I do cartwheels in my mind); when I accomplish everything on my daily or weekly to-do list; having the courage to look out the window of an airplane (I’m currently winning the war against the fear of flying); starting and FINISHING a project.

Friends who annoy me; being an aunty; that I can open my heart to remain hopeful and move on; being able to laugh even when something painful happens (my phone was stolen recently and my former self would have had a fit, heart attack and become a grouchy monster but this time from the moment it happened I started singing to myself to let it go).

To have the ‘luxury’ of worrying about my weight; I’m sure at least one person in the world genuinely loves me; that I’m healthy and most importantly that it is my birthday and I KNOW I’m going to have an AMAZING DAY! My last birthday I put up a post about getting rid of Birthdayblues and believe me, I’ve grown even more within the past year and I most definitely won’t be dull in anyway today! And for this positive spirit as I’m blessed with a new year, I’m MOST grateful!

 

***As seen in the image, it would be nice to write that list often.