In Love and in Light

A few years ago I experienced somethings that I could best describe as darkness; one day in this period I was asked to pray in a gathering and I found myself asking God to give us Light, to just flood His light into all the darkness. That was how I felt then, and recently the same feeling has tried to return.

I say tried because I have learnt and grown enough to understand that darkness WILL ALWAYS give way to Light and it is my responsibility to ensure this; sitting in a dark room and wishing for light won’t cause it to come but rather I have to walk to flip the switch or at least put on a candle or a torch light or open the windows to cause natural light in.

And sometimes this light we feel we need is simply an awareness; just to know more. I think of the scripture “Hosea 4:6a (NKJV) – My people are destroyed for lack of Knowledge…….” and I know I have been a victim of this, like I have literally just lost because I didn’t know enough due to immaturity, pride or laziness to do what was necessary.

I recognize that sometimes we genuinely have no control, we are overwhelmed, have no form of direction and just exhausted from all of life’s demands but this phase eventually transitions into another one. In reality, you may transition into what feels like ‘another phase of war’ and you wonder when you will catch a break and then after time passes you look back and realise you survived.

I like to document my lessons through different experiences or phases; some take longer that others to imbibe; some I forget and overtime some change or become ‘expanded’.

ü  I have learnt to stop seeing my daily expectations/responsibilities as stressful tasks but as me being consistent in the right habits and activities.

ü  I chose to love me; and to protect my peace and self-worth

ü  I chose to consistently educate myself enough to know who I am, what I desire, what I deserve, what I am ignorant about, what I need to fix and how to treat others.

ü  I know that I have everything I need; don’t be so shallow to limit this to just physical things. I know it’s hard to understand or explain or accept but it is a truth I am learning to embrace. Reach within; deep enough and you will find what you are looking for.

A few weeks ago, I created and posted the image above on Instagram (change my typo from “does” to “those”, sorry I was excited) and in the caption I said “Because this is real life. And sometimes it will be more than one war at a time. Negotiate with yourself because there is ALWAYS enough inside to keep you going! Remember on bad days that you have already been built for this. You'll look back and smile, through the stress, scars and tears, you WILL”

The truth is a few minutes before I did it, I was sitting on my bed, looking out the window totally exhausted and wondering if I would survive that evening! Then from nowhere I started talking to myself……scratch that…….it felt more like someone started talking to me because the voice was so sure of herself, extremely confident, strong and filled with LIGHT; a light that had gotten rid of darkness.

ü  The physical is almost insignificant compare to what we do not see- this deserves its own post.

ü  I am learning to resist being static even in the midst of chaos or fear; I must go on

ü  Joy and Strength are not mutually exclusive- haven’t you noticed when you have genuine Joy you can just function?!

ü  I am never left completely empty or alone or disadvantaged – I ALWAYS have something left; something that will restore or comfort or sustain me to the next point.

ü  Have Courage – this is so vital and is a continuous process of acceptance.

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently” - Maya Angelou

2 Timothy 1:7 New Living Translation (NLT)

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”