Wrapped in Colour

 

I look at the tree, the green and the brown and occasional yellow look quite nice against the blue and white of the sky

I’m trying to see what’s beyond the image before me so I turn my head slightly to the right and squint my eyes;  an involuntary movement I formed from mirroring someone who was in my life briefly yet undeniably

I don’t know if it’s a smile or frown but my lips move and I feel the lump in my chest, reminding me nothing is funny about that memory

The weight on my shoulders; a familiar grey cloak that keeps me warm

I hear movement behind me and I don’t have to look back to know he is trying to get on my bed

He is here, I turn to look at him and this time I beam at the sight before me

With a determined look on his face yet his tiny pink tongue sticking out of the side of his lips,

He struggles to get his tiny frame on my bed and yet not asking for help

Something we have in common – Pride; keeping silent even as we die slowly

I moved closer to the edge of the bed carefully, keeping enough distance because I know if I tried to help he would throw a tantrum

He makes it, crawls over purple silk sheets straight to me and holds my hand so I sit and take our usual position; sitting cross legged and facing each other.

He speaks; echoing the emptiness in my life; confirming that there is no redemption for my kind

He turns his head slightly to the left and squints at me; reflecting my habit and I know what he is saying without words so I smile; I only smile when he is here………….

It is time; I’ve waited for this for a while now and I anticipate the freedom it will bring

Instinctively, we get up at the same time and walk to the balcony

It’s still the same picture of green, brown and yellow against blue and white

We hold on to the bars as we climb to the other side and then let go;

Falling to the promise of peace……….

 

………We’re lying on the floor, holding hands, smiling

It is warm where we lay; it’s red too, glistering

And as the pool seems to increase, I feel light, void

I look to the sky, it’s unusually bright and I feel weightless too, there is no familiar cloak;

It feels good but strange so I turn to him once more but he isn’t there

No hand holding mine, no words, no shared smile and suddenly I understand

That I’m all alone…… as I actually have always been.

 

*Thanks Tahir ; )

*the image was taken from a blog by an artist Alishka