Two
mornings ago, I had a near panic attack because for some silly reason I
suddenly felt like I was too old to do something I had desired for a long time
and was finally taking steps to acquire. I started thinking about “all my mates”
and how they had gone ahead to do certain things earlier. I felt regret and
questioned why I had wasted my time in jobs or relationships that did nothing positive
for me and also why I had remained afraid for so many years! It didn’t take me
long to realise I was about to completely stumbled into a dark place I had been
before and I knew once I got there, coming out would be hard.
At that
moment, I heard it clearly in my mind “You are at the Right age!”
I laughed;
it was both shocking and comforting! But I believed it without a doubt.
Recently
I have been practicing fixing every warped mind set and being more in control
of my thoughts; it is such an amazing thing to realize and I am beginning to
feel like Dr Strange or Jean Grey or something……err okay but you get my drift!
A few
days ago I spoke to a Life Coach who asked me to write down what I felt was my
greatest belief that was holding me back from being all I can be. I did that
and then he asked “who told you this? What happened that made you believe this?
Then please prove it to me that this is true!” After a few minutes, it dawned
on me that there was no concrete cause; I mean there were events and
experiences and maybe even someone constantly said negative things to me but I genuinely
had no proof that this destructive belief was absolutely true and at that
moment, I was reminded that over the years I had believed different lies and convinced
myself of what wasn’t true and unfortunately my reality often caught up with my
mind.
I wanted to share this revelation/lesson
and while I started typing this post, I found something I had written a few
months ago. They are questions I was randomly asking a character who felt
dejected and desired death.
Who told you their sin was your
fault?
Who told you this experience is
peculiar to only you?
Why do you believe your present
situation or status will last forever and not get better?
What made you accept that
dysfunction as a norm?
Who defined what is cool or
acceptable?
Who said you had run out of
time?
When did imperfection become a
weakness?
Who told you, your solution
lies in belittling yourself? Or your expectations will be accomplished quicker
if they are smaller.
Who came up with the conclusion
that no one can love you genuinely and unconditionally?
Who decided that this is all
you are or ever will be?
When was it decided you are a
failure? And by whom?
And how dare you believe their
lies?
So
while I would never encourage anyone to play the blame game, I want us to shut
out the lies we are told daily and to KNOW, ACCEPT and APPLY the power we have
to control our minds, protect our heart and take charge to create the life we
truly desire. Sometimes we hold a meeting within our own mind and decide to
forge ahead on a van of lies; no external influence, just a self-conviction
that we are no good. But that needs to end; we need to stop standing in our own
way. You are not too old or too young, or too uneducated or too ANYTHING!!! You
are YOU and you will do what you need to when it is time to do it!
