Light took out the Darkness

I’ve learnt so much in the past few weeks, it’s almost hard to keep up because I don’t want to hear and forget and I don’t want to have so much good going through my mind that I would now eventually end up with nothing.

God floored me often, sometimes to save me from my stupid stubborn self and other times just to remind me that HE is the one in control. At first it felt like an attack; too much was coming at me at the same time and I seemed to fail at everything. But in time light got shed on things, and I accepted the need to take responsibility, to desire a fixed heart, renewed mind and understand that it is growth.

I don’t have a creative or artistic way to share my lessons so I’m just going to highlight things (in no particular order) that stood out either for the first time or I was reminded…….

• Most of the time, what we do is wishing and not planning (and even planning needs following action). Nobody hands over red velvet cupcakes to you on the streets with Oreo shakes, if you want those, get into your car (or a bus or taxi) that should have fuel, drive to the shops, bring out your hard earned money, pay for and enjoy these delicacies, then deal with the consequences! It’s not about wishing, it’s a simple calculated process of going forward to get what you want; some of us spend time wishing for a free meal and because we get disappointed so often we begin to blame every other situation and person for our self-inflicted misfortunes when we should have simply got up to either ask for help if we genuinely don’t have (as others can’t read our minds) or gone to get what we need.
• Nobody teaches us how to heal from heartbreak or disappointments; it’s not something that was taught in school and our parents or those in authority over us don’t talk to us about it because it is awkward and sometimes they also haven’t healed from their own past hurt and really you can’t teach what you don’t know.
• Good intentions are not enough to get results – people can’t work with what we keep in our mind or what we say, it’s about what they see us do. Also telling yourself you’ve good intentions won’t move the universe to action…..your faith, consistent positive thoughts and right actions make things align and make others want to run with your vision.
• Good friends won’t always be good – and this is due to different reasons- but don’t let it make you bitter.
• People will forget you and move on and this is because I don’t think there is anyone who can't live without you and you can’t live without.
• Self-motivation is a daily battle, (even the seemingly effortless task of accomplishing a to-do list can make you feel like such a failure at the end of the day, week and month) especially when you feel there is nothing to look forward to; I don’t know the winning strategy, but you have to keep fighting daily. In battle scenes in movies, no one ever lay down on the ground because they were tired, they would either get trampled upon or killed, everyone fought till a man, group or nation killed or conquered the opponent regardless of how long it lasted. This is what being an adult is about, it is a WAR folks!
• We’re afraid to really take the leap of faith, to go all out and do what we really think we were created for or we will be good at. This is often because we are scared we will fail or we are scared we will succeed and then not have the strength to remain consistent; once you do good or great then you need to continue at that pace and higher…….and it never gets easier but it becomes worth it.
• “Be faithful in little” is not a cliché; you need to learn how to be faithful and dependable at various levels. And build your capacity, go beyond your self- imposed limits because truly only those with strong unwavering will power conquer.
• Pain is a good teacher; going through certain trials makes you humble and teachable. I read something years ago “Don’t ask for lighter load, pray for a stronger back” so that’s what I do now and I often come through rough times a better person.
• People are bad with money and integrity isn’t an important value for many; it’s unfortunate and painful but people will continually be unreasonable. It’s either you develop some mechanism that’s convenient for you or just become the person who doesn’t joke with money……like people know if they owe you money they are going to prison or something drastic! Hahahaha!
• Being good pays off, eventually. Just be a good person, no matter what or how it makes you feel or how people take you for granted, REMAIN A GOOD PERSON because being badly behaved is not in your character and you will never be satisfied or happy when acting out or being someone else. And haven’t you noticed how the one time you choose to act out of character you get into more trouble than the person who is badly behaved every day?
• After a while or at a certain age, you can no longer blame your family and friends (or lack of them) for your misfortunes. You need to tell yourself the truth and stop living in a picture you painted that may even have faded; if you ask someone who has been angry for years why they are holding a grudge, he/she may not even remember the main event, all they hold on to is that ‘feeling of offense’ but it’s time to let it go. Sometimes people who hurt you have moved past the whole ordeal; stop holding on to the title of VICTIM, it comes with no rewards.
• It is ridiculously hard (yet POSSIBLE) to forgive yourself- repeated acts or experiences that cause feelings of shame or disappointments can leave you hard and low. It also doesn't help that when you try to heal and move on, your memory and imagination that often failed you in the classroom suddenly goes into over drive, showing you millions of past or hypothetical images. But it is possible to heal, not suppress feelings or use substitutes but to be made whole and not live haunted………it starts with desiring it and believing you’re worth good.

                                                               

My heartfelt prayer for everyone who reads this is that you experience genuine happiness in this year, that you remain hopeful in the face of whatever adversity, that your heart stays pure and untainted by hurt, that you never wish you were someone else and that you break free from any and every type of limitation in order to accomplish your goals.

XOXO