I often think of death
Sometimes it’s a result
of fear, or curiosity of how it feels to be on the ‘other side’
And other times it’s
just me wondering how those you leave behind move on with their lives
I’ve lost friends and
family and I know it’s really painful to accept that you’ll never see the
person again
To know that all you
talked about or planned would most likely not happen
And to accept that life
as you know it would change
When the Dana flight
dropped out of the sky, it was hard to believe God allowed it to happen
I’ve never had so many
people I know or family members of those I know die in one day
It felt like the whole
of Nigeria had at least one person on that flight
Beyond that I started to
think of how those closest to the deceased would feel
How do you plan a
funeral? What is the process of planning how to place your loved one in the
ground?
Dealing with family members;
clearing out closets or deleting contacts
How would colleagues
function for the first few days or how would a boss replace or be replaced?
How do you just admit that
the clock didn’t stop ticking when your loved one stopped breathing?
After going through
different emotions of fear, anger, shock, you’ll still have to get up and
function.
I’ve learnt that time
doesn’t necessarily heal; it only somewhat dulls the pain
You may never forget
that second you heard the news and how you silently and desperately wanted it
to be a lie
You’ll wish you had more
time, or expressed love much more than you actually did
You may unconsciously
call out the person’s name or randomly burst into tears in the middle of a
crowd
But one day unexpectedly
you’ll laugh, because something will be funny and you’ll suddenly notice the
sun is shining and you’ll remember the person would have wanted you to be happy
You may begin to see
that all along you shared the person’s dream and there is no way you’ll let
that die now
It may take a while and you
may even need help with this process
You might sometimes feel
bad when the pain begins to dull because you think feeling the pain keeps you
connected to the person
But that’s why we have
memories; mental pictures of times shared
Even the not so good
times won’t matter anymore
What you’ll hold on to
is the truth that beyond a doubt you were blessed because the one you lost once
lived.
The
image is of Adenike Ogungbe, a super talented Makeup artist I unashamedly admire.
She passed away July 3rd, 2013. May the
path you cleared for others never be covered in dust…..Rest in Peace!
