The Goddess is One

Yaaaay!!! Pencil Goddess is 1

My first post on the 24^th of August 2012 was probably me psyching myself about how ready I was to blog forever. I wasn’t deceived that being consistent (in ANYTHING) comes easy but I was willing.

And now, after a year it honestly feels good that I made it this far because trust me there were times I asked “who sent me message?”

It has been fun and enlightening; the responses and reactions to things I write- that my thoughts expressed can make people laugh, sad or ponder. I’ve also developed the habit of consciously holding on to lessons I learn even from seemingly random things.

So to every single person who has ever clicked the link; to all my friends who ever broadcasted/shared any of my posts I’m exceedingly grateful, you have no idea how good it makes me feel and how it boosts my confidence that what I have to ‘say’ is worth reading.

And to Perkins, who I disturb with the silliest tech issues but puts up with my stress, THANK YOU!

Here’s to many more funny experiences so I can share with you all, Lool!

***the goddess and I shall be enjoying a cake later!!! (YES! Because she deserves it and yes we are throwing our diet out the window for this ; )

Finally I Won

I WONNN!!! Yep I won the Fashion Fair Capsule collection in the picture above at a Makeup fair.

You may say it’s not a big deal but for me it is because I don’t think I’m a very lucky person and I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way; I’m unlucky when it comes to winning gifts- it just happens that I don’t walk into the supermarket when they are doing a promo with free carton of Indomie noodles; when Globacom is giving out N20million to their telecomm subscribers or when DSTV decides to give a devoted customer free 12 months subscription.

Well luck smiled at me few days ago at a Makeup fair (which I almost didn’t attend because I had been at a wedding all day and was exhausted) but I’m devoted to the course so I psyched myself and off I went to the fair.

After almost an hour of trying hard but failing to stick to my plan to ONLY window shop and NOT buy anything, I went to say good bye to a friend and then I heard the hostess begin to talk about the give aways and anyone who was interested should raise her hand. She must have announced it like 3 times before I got the courage to raise my hand, normally I won’t do such a thing because I don’t want a situation where I show I’m interested and then I don’t get the prize.

Well I’m glad I obeyed the small voice that told me “what’s the worst that can happen?”; the hostess told me to walk forward and I noticed 3 other women had indicated interest. She asked the first lady a question and when I heard the answer she gave I became more confident. I raised my hand and when she asked me I gave my answer. The next 30 seconds must have been the longest of my life because suddenly I remembered how I never win gifts and now infront of all these cameras and people I will make a fool of myself.

She asked my name and told me to face the cameras; she asked a few questions and next thing I heard her say “Well your guess is correct, you’ve won……….” I didn’t hear her again oh, I started clapping and I think I snatched the case out of her hand. Cameras started flashing, people were clapping and I heard a guy with a video camera ask me “How do you feel?”. I couldn’t believe it………I had WON!

I remember telling my friend “Thank God I didn’t leave!” and immediately what came to my mind was ‘being at the right place at the right time’ makes almost anything possible. I could have been anywhere else or allowed myself be lazy at home, doing something random that may have ruined my day but I made a choice to be at this place where I got great discounts on products, made new friends and ultimately won an amazing gift!

Surprisingly, I had seen a Fashion Fair color collection online weeks earlier and I was looking for where to buy it so I guess ‘If you desire it, you can get it!’ *GRIN*. Two great things happened for me; I broke the jinx of not getting gifts and I was reminded of the positive results of listening to your instinct and taking a courageous step forward.

When I think of those few minutes that day (and even reading this post), I can’t help but laugh at myself and my drama but it makes me genuinely happy I didn’t chicken out; feels like I was immediately rewarded for being obedient! (However the N20 million from Globacom for all my years of putting up with their epileptic network will ease the pain sha)

The Fall

 

The prince of darkness is a gentleman - William Shakespeare

I close my eyes and sigh as I see another one fall for yet another lie

And I hear the chains clamp down on his neck and wrists

As he is led away into further deceit and if he’s never rescued, ultimately destruction

Just like the millions before him, he succumbs to allegations that are glaringly untrue

It’s always the same story, simply presented in a different and customized package

I do nothing because I have no power to offer any form of help to this being

I’ve also learnt that I may lose what is left of my life if I rebel (again)

I look at him, the one who is so skilled in the art of lies and deceit

I was a victim and that is how I got to this place of eternal darkness

How did I believe him? How did I accept his offer of a better life when my life was already the best?

‘The bringer of light’ is what he is called

I won’t deny I was intrigued by him,

Captivated by his smoothness, admired his gifts and ‘alleged’ wisdom

Wondering why he seemed different and better than the rest of us.

I was beautiful once too

But that was in a place far away from here

Life was easy and the result of all my assignments were good

But he came and with his words painted pictures of things I had never heard

Promises of a life of power I had never known existed.

After ‘the fall’ and the realization of my true state I longed for a way to get back what I had

I don’t know how long it has been but I know I’ve lost hope that there is a way back home.

 

**I don’t intend to ‘promote’ any character with this post, it was birth out of me just randomly thinking if there was ever a fallen angel who realized his mistake for rebelling against God with lucifer and desired to go back home to Heaven.

Hollywood and the moral of their movies

I watched one of my favourite movies (The Dark Knight Rises) again recently and somewhere in the middle (when Bane was standing on a tank in front of the prison, addressing the people of Gotham to take justice into their hands) I had to pause and think about the actor who played this character.

Tom Hardy who played Bane in the movie had 3months of grueling physical training to gain 30 pounds, learn various fighting styles and have a tight mask molded for his face to play the role of this villain who almost killed Batman. Beyond physical appearance, some actors need to change accents and mannerisms, act psychotic or quit certain habits. If that is not devotion to the job and excellence, I wonder what is.

Hardy isn’t the only actor who has had to make drastic changes to his/her appearance to perfectly play a role. Recently I had this discussion with a group of people and someone pointed out that of course these Hollywood actors will be willing to do anything because of what they are paid; as much as I agree, I believe for them it’s beyond the money, they know and are convinced beyond a doubt that the only way they can accomplish their dreams of being world-renowned entertainers is if they maintain that spirit and acts of excellence.

I guess that’s why the movie industry called ‘Hollywood’ has existed for what seems like forever and will remain an industry worth billions of dollars –all the players understand the need to be excellent.

How many of us put in our all in what we do? How many of us consistently and unfailingly keep upgrading our skills or are willing to pay ‘the price’ for that which we want?

Most of us may have heard Tyler Perry’s story and how he suffered rejection severally until things started working out and now regardless of how predictable some of his movies can be, we remain fans of his work and he’s a millionaire simply from telling stories!

I sometimes get scared to write and post an article because I wonder how people will react or if it’s good enough. But if I don’t fail at least once how would I know when I get it right? And who even said I’ll fail? I worry that whatever industry I want to break into is already ‘full’ but I’m sure the sky is wide enough for all species of birds if not God would have made plans to expand the space.

I have seen that excellence is a global language; there are no standards or levels of excellence, it’s the same level in China, US, Nigeria and Australia. And if whatever you want to achieve or who you want to be doesn’t reach that global standard then forget about your dream of world domination. I figure that’s why someone like Deola Sagoe can make clothes for Hollywood stars because of the undeniable excellence in her product and service- they want the solution she is offering and are not bothered about her nationality.

However if your dream is to cater to the 100 people in your neighborhood please I have nothing against you and I don’t judge where you are but for those of us who know we have been called to deal with more than our immediate surroundings, it’s time to buckle up and be ‘uncompromisingly excellent’!

The Conflict of Cultural identities

I’ve had the chance to meet and speak with people from different places as well as friends who left Nigeria to work in other countries and trust me regardless of how ‘exposed’ you are, there would always be that moment(s) of revelation that no two places are exactly the same.

This post is by a guest blogger Babajide Macaulay, Enjoy!

 

It's been exactly 10 months since I got to the UK for my postgraduate study and a lot has changed about me. My academic skill and knowledge has been refined tremendously and more importantly is the reformation of my cultural integrity. As an African (Nigerian to be precise), I grew up with certain cultural values which formed my thought process and social mannerism. I found myself in a strange land but I was determined to succeed anyway. From the Western movies I watched in my home country, I knew it would be foolish of me to call every white man  a Briton because there are non-Britons and non-Europeans who are also white-skinned. As a result, I often started off my conversation with every white-skinned fellow I meet with the question, ‘where are you from?’ My adaptive nature to new environments presented itself as I mingled with people from different parts of the world and tried to establish a niche for myself. I didn’t feel inferior due to my skin-colour even though I was snubbed by a handful of Caucasians for a reason I never cared to know. I took more pleasure in the fact that the majority of my friends enjoyed my company and loved to have me around.  Then the culture shock began.

“You can call me Peter”, one of my lecturers said to me the first day I met him. As expected, I found it very difficult to call him by his first name because my cultural values taught me to respect my elders and those in higher authority, but to my greatest surprise, my UK lecturers wanted me to call them by their first names including PhD holders and Professors! Also, I would walk into a hallway or corridor and find strangers opening doors for me. “How nice”, I said to myself. Who the hell will open doors for you where I come from? “Haven’t you got hands of your own” or “wait a minute, do you consider me to be your servant?” are the ‘friendly’ replies you may get if you are lucky. I was also fascinated by the fact that commuters were fond of thanking the bus drivers after transporting them to their individual destinations. A bus driver on the streets of Lagos will hardly get such a compliment from commuters. It is more likely that he gets to be abused and screamed at for driving either too fast or too slow. I found it absolutely amazing to witness the high level of patience, courtesy and mutual respect that the British people possess.

The positive shock I felt was riddled with some negative ones as well.  During winter,  most Britons had their dresses covering their entire body surface as a result of the near-zero or sub-zero fluctuating atmospheric temperatures. As Spring faded away, though short-lived, and Summer crept in, the length of the dresses began to shrink until it became very little and highly provocative most especially to fresh foreigners in the country. The bum shorts and bra-less tops being flaunted everywhere I turned reminded me that I was indeed in a strange land. Over time, I realised that it was absolutely normal for them to dress that way because they wanted more parts of their body to be exposed to sunlight for the purpose of tanning. As much as I understood this, I felt some of them had taken the summer clothing style to the extreme and should rather walk naked than to hang pieces of clothing materials on their bodies all in the name of summer! Rape incidents in the UK is not on the increase as far as I know, so even though I had my reservations about the summer dress sense, UK citizens had absolutely no problem with it which made my opinion very irrelevant!

Furthermore, I was on a train heading to London Victoria one morning when I saw a man telling his 10 year old son to reduce the volume of the music blasting out from his mobile phone in order not to disturb other passengers and the boy replied, “Gosh dad! What the hell! Please let me be!” and his dad sat there looking at him helplessly. My jaw dropped to see a 10 year old having such guts. I couldn’t imagine myself talking to my father in such a disrespectful manner without getting a thunderous slap. The western world embraces the concept of not smacking their children when they misbehave and this has made many of them to be recalcitrant and nonchalant! If such a child is left with an African family, some consistent whips and lashes will chase out the rebellious tendency in that child. As espoused by the biblical text which says, “spare the rod and spoil the child”

I also remember being invited to a church where I saw one of the male priests wearing a pair of earrings; and when I went to open a UK bank account and the bank staff who attended to me had a pair of ear-rings on. As he spoke to me explaining the benefits of the savings account, my gaze kept shifting to his ears and within seconds I had formed an opinion about the kind of person he might be. In my home country, when a man wears a pair of earrings, it shows how irresponsible he is. All white-collar occupational sectors (not only the banking sector) in my country do not allow male employees to wear earrings or pierce their body because it is regarded as being rascally! But there I was in the UK sitting with a banker who had a pair of earrings on. I watched him closely and discovered that he knew his job excellently well and that his earrings had nothing to do with his profession and productivity. Therefore, there was a sudden conflict in my mind on how I should judge the personality of the banker.

Any foreigner visiting the UK for the first time may likely experience the conflict of cultural identities and it is expected that the longer the foreigner stays in the UK, the more the cultural lines will dissolve. This makes such people imbibe the British culture quite fast but at the risk of sacrificing their original cultures (which has sadly been the lot of many Africans living in the UK for so long). Not all foreigners will absorb the new British customs, as a few others will hold on staunchly to their original cultures but may become alienated in the new environment (which is the root cause of cultural fanatism/fundamentalism).

As much as I would love to imbibe the patience, courtesy, mutual respect, professional meekness and high-tolerance level of the British people, I do not wish to embrace their loose dress ethics or liberalism towards child discipline. Social and moral ethics (which are often founded by culture and religion) should guide our conscience daily in order to prevent us from abusing the liberty as we have seen countless times! As much as I would also love to preserve my original culture by upholding the elderly respect, sticking to the morally appropriate dress sense, smacking my children when required, etc., I do not wish to retain the undue aggressiveness of the typical African which is reflected in his jungle justice approach to emotional matters; overly judgmental; and the show off of over-bloated pride. This leaves me in a conflict of cultural identities which needs an immediate resolution.

The most beneficial means of resolving the cultural conflict is to consciously blend the positive aspects of both cultures and discarding the negative contents. The first step in achieving this is to admit that NO CULTURE IN THE WORLD IS PERFECT! Therefore, by respecting and admiring the beauty of other cultures and absorbing the positive aspects into ours, we create a superculture which will transform our mentality and personality into a unique cultural model worthy of emulation both at home and abroad. Lets appreciate who we are irrespective of where we come from and not be too proud or rigid to accept new elements from foreign cultures nor too loose or flexible to discard our aboriginal customs which forms the basis of our existence.

The benefit of Time

I often think of death

Sometimes it’s a result of fear, or curiosity of how it feels to be on the ‘other side’

And other times it’s just me wondering how those you leave behind move on with their lives

I’ve lost friends and family and I know it’s really painful to accept that you’ll never see the person again

To know that all you talked about or planned would most likely not happen

And to accept that life as you know it would change

When the Dana flight dropped out of the sky, it was hard to believe God allowed it to happen

I’ve never had so many people I know or family members of those I know die in one day

It felt like the whole of Nigeria had at least one person on that flight

Beyond that I started to think of how those closest to the deceased would feel

How do you plan a funeral? What is the process of planning how to place your loved one in the ground?

Dealing with family members; clearing out closets or deleting contacts

How would colleagues function for the first few days or how would a boss replace or be replaced?

How do you just admit that the clock didn’t stop ticking when your loved one stopped breathing?

After going through different emotions of fear, anger, shock, you’ll still have to get up and function.

I’ve learnt that time doesn’t necessarily heal; it only somewhat dulls the pain

You may never forget that second you heard the news and how you silently and desperately wanted it to be a lie

You’ll wish you had more time, or expressed love much more than you actually did

You may unconsciously call out the person’s name or randomly burst into tears in the middle of a crowd

But one day unexpectedly you’ll laugh, because something will be funny and you’ll suddenly notice the sun is shining and you’ll remember the person would have wanted you to be happy

You may begin to see that all along you shared the person’s dream and there is no way you’ll let that die now

It may take a while and you may even need help with this process

You might sometimes feel bad when the pain begins to dull because you think feeling the pain keeps you connected to the person

But that’s why we have memories; mental pictures of times shared

Even the not so good times won’t matter anymore

What you’ll hold on to is the truth that beyond a doubt you were blessed because the one you lost once lived.

The image is of Adenike Ogungbe, a super talented Makeup artist I unashamedly admire. She passed away July 3rd, 2013.  May the path you cleared for others never be covered in dust…..Rest in Peace!

 

A Long Walk

It feels like it’s been a long walk to this particular post

I may not have anything intelligent or funny to share

Lately I’ve had to learn hard lessons and make harder decisions

A lot of times I’ve failed at keeping promises to myself

And even doubted my faith and my ability to be great

Once or twice it crossed my mind to stop writing or pack up my Make up business (funny the two things that make me genuinely happy)

I’ve been angry and almost nonchalant to all I know I’ve been called to be

I can’t exactly say I’m completely out of this phase

But one thing I have learnt and I will hold on to is that “I will get up and Act”

Yes, in spite of my fears, inadequacies and possible confusion

I’ll keep moving because eventually I’ll be stirred in the right direction which is better than staying at one point.

That being said…….as I struggled with how to end this article I stumbled upon this video/audio recording of an excerpt called "Power Of The Word" taken from Dr. Maya Angelou’s audio book, "Wouldn't Take Nothing For My Journey Now" and it took a lot of strength not to cry.

I admire Dr. Maya Angelou, I don’t know all her poems and books but every time I’ve heard her speak or read whatever she’s written I get the feeling she is super human!

But listening to this, I realize someone as great and influential as Dr. Angelou could admit some form of weakness and the existence and power of God. And I see that you can only get her level of wisdom from experience-either yours or of those closest to you.

I was reminded that if you hear and speak the right things over and over, you’ll inevitably become “the right thing”.

Please listen and share Power of The Word