I’ve
had the chance to meet and speak with people from different places as well as
friends who left Nigeria to work in other countries and trust me regardless of
how ‘exposed’ you are, there would always be that moment(s) of revelation that
no two places are exactly the same.
This
post is by a guest blogger Babajide Macaulay, Enjoy!
It's been exactly 10 months since I got to the
UK for my postgraduate study and a lot has changed about me. My academic skill
and knowledge has been refined tremendously and more importantly is the reformation
of my cultural integrity. As an African (Nigerian to be precise), I grew up
with certain cultural values which formed my thought process and social
mannerism. I found myself in a strange land but I was determined to succeed
anyway. From the Western movies I watched in my home country, I knew it would
be foolish of me to call every white man
a Briton because there are non-Britons and non-Europeans who are also
white-skinned. As a result, I often started off my conversation with every
white-skinned fellow I meet with the question, ‘where are you from?’ My
adaptive nature to new environments presented itself as I mingled with people
from different parts of the world and tried to establish a niche for myself. I
didn’t feel inferior due to my skin-colour even though I was snubbed by a
handful of Caucasians for a reason I never cared to know. I took more pleasure
in the fact that the majority of my friends enjoyed my company and loved to
have me around. Then the culture shock
began.
“You can call me Peter”, one of my lecturers
said to me the first day I met him. As expected, I found it very difficult to
call him by his first name because my cultural values taught me to respect my
elders and those in higher authority, but to my greatest surprise, my UK
lecturers wanted me to call them by their first names including PhD holders and
Professors! Also, I would walk into a hallway or corridor and find strangers
opening doors for me. “How nice”, I said to myself. Who the hell will open
doors for you where I come from? “Haven’t you got hands of your own” or “wait a
minute, do you consider me to be your servant?” are the ‘friendly’ replies you
may get if you are lucky. I was also fascinated by the fact that commuters were
fond of thanking the bus drivers after transporting them to their individual
destinations. A bus driver on the streets of Lagos will hardly get such a
compliment from commuters. It is more likely that he gets to be abused and
screamed at for driving either too fast or too slow. I found it absolutely amazing
to witness the high level of patience, courtesy and mutual respect that the
British people possess.
The positive shock I felt was riddled with some negative
ones as well. During winter, most Britons had their dresses covering their
entire body surface as a result of the near-zero or sub-zero fluctuating atmospheric
temperatures. As Spring faded away, though short-lived, and Summer crept in,
the length of the dresses began to shrink until it became very little and
highly provocative most especially to fresh foreigners in the country. The bum
shorts and bra-less tops being flaunted everywhere I turned reminded me that I
was indeed in a strange land. Over time, I realised that it was absolutely
normal for them to dress that way because they wanted more parts of their body
to be exposed to sunlight for the purpose of tanning. As much as I understood
this, I felt some of them had taken the summer clothing style to the extreme
and should rather walk naked than to hang pieces of clothing materials on their
bodies all in the name of summer! Rape incidents in the UK is not on the
increase as far as I know, so even though I had my reservations about the summer
dress sense, UK citizens had absolutely no problem with it which made my
opinion very irrelevant!
Furthermore, I was on a train heading to London
Victoria one morning when I saw a man telling his 10 year old son to reduce the
volume of the music blasting out from his mobile phone in order not to disturb
other passengers and the boy replied, “Gosh dad! What the hell! Please let me
be!” and his dad sat there looking at him helplessly. My jaw dropped to see a
10 year old having such guts. I couldn’t imagine myself talking to my father in
such a disrespectful manner without getting a thunderous slap. The western
world embraces the concept of not smacking their children when they misbehave
and this has made many of them to be recalcitrant and nonchalant! If such a
child is left with an African family, some consistent whips and lashes will
chase out the rebellious tendency in that child. As espoused by the biblical
text which says, “spare the rod and spoil the child”
I also remember being invited to a church where
I saw one of the male priests wearing a pair of earrings; and when I went to
open a UK bank account and the bank staff who attended to me had a pair of
ear-rings on. As he spoke to me explaining the benefits of the savings account,
my gaze kept shifting to his ears and within seconds I had formed an opinion
about the kind of person he might be. In my home country, when a man wears a
pair of earrings, it shows how irresponsible he is. All white-collar
occupational sectors (not only the banking sector) in my country do not allow male
employees to wear earrings or pierce their body because it is regarded as being
rascally! But there I was in the UK sitting with a banker who had a pair of earrings
on. I watched him closely and discovered that he knew his job excellently well
and that his earrings had nothing to do with his profession and productivity.
Therefore, there was a sudden conflict in my mind on how I should judge the
personality of the banker.
Any foreigner visiting the UK for the first time
may likely experience the conflict of cultural identities and it is expected
that the longer the foreigner stays in the UK, the more the cultural lines will
dissolve. This makes such people imbibe the British culture quite fast but at
the risk of sacrificing their original cultures (which has sadly been the lot
of many Africans living in the UK for so long). Not all foreigners will absorb
the new British customs, as a few others will hold on staunchly to their
original cultures but may become alienated in the new environment (which is the
root cause of cultural fanatism/fundamentalism).
As much as I would love to imbibe the patience,
courtesy, mutual respect, professional meekness and high-tolerance level of the
British people, I do not wish to embrace their loose dress ethics or liberalism
towards child discipline. Social and moral ethics (which are often founded by
culture and religion) should guide our conscience daily in order to prevent us
from abusing the liberty as we have seen countless times! As much as I would
also love to preserve my original culture by upholding the elderly respect,
sticking to the morally appropriate dress sense, smacking my children when
required, etc., I do not wish to retain the undue aggressiveness of the typical
African which is reflected in his jungle justice approach to emotional matters;
overly judgmental; and the show off of over-bloated pride. This leaves me in a
conflict of cultural identities which needs an immediate resolution.
The most beneficial means of resolving the cultural
conflict is to consciously blend the positive aspects of both cultures and
discarding the negative contents. The first step in achieving this is to admit
that NO CULTURE IN THE WORLD IS PERFECT! Therefore, by respecting and admiring
the beauty of other cultures and absorbing the positive aspects into ours, we create
a superculture which will transform our mentality and personality into a unique
cultural model worthy of emulation both at home and abroad. Lets appreciate who
we are irrespective of where we come from and not be too proud or rigid to
accept new elements from foreign cultures nor too loose or flexible to discard
our aboriginal customs which forms the basis of our existence.
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