The Withdrawn Extrovert

 

I recently wrote a piece about friendship and how we lose some, gain some and life goes on……lately I’ve been accused of being anti-social and stubborn (especially when I turn down invitations to outings) so it seems I don’t know anyone anymore, I sometimes agree because looking at myself some years ago and in present time maybe I’ve become the ‘driest’.

I’m fun to hang out with when you eventually catch me but I hardly go out except of course it involves food (yes I’m a certified unashamed foodie) or some event about fashion or business.

Some weeks ago I had a nightmare -I told a few of my friends (by few I mean less than 10 people) to come visit me. Only for the day to arrive and about 500 people appeared, I'm NOT exaggerating, seriously it looked like a rave at a warehouse- all sorts of people including those I didn’t even speak to in school came. They were really nice, hugging and smiling and telling me how beautiful I looked (I'm not even sure I’d had a bathe at this point in the dream). I had a panic attack, and quickly ran to my friends Ak and Seyi who I told to help me buy refreshments for the millions of people at my house……

As my God promised that He will never give me what I can’t handle….I WOKE UP! Yes, just like in the movie Inception as I was about to die from a panic attack in the dream I woke up! When I narrated the dream to my sister Yinka she laughed at me and said I’m “weird and anti-social” for calling such a dream a nightmare and that what was wrong with having a party.

We laughed about it and moved on but the worrier in me couldn’t let it slide, I wondered why I was so troubled that there were so many people who came to ‘rejoice’ with me. Had I become so cynical or stopped liking humans so much or what?

People have also told me that how would I meet someone to marry me if I don’t go out as the guys won’t come to my house *smh*, there’s some truth to it but isn’t it funny how people just somehow connect everything in life to getting a husband? (Topic for another day)

I keep telling my accusers that I’m making efforts at changing my ‘dry ways’. During Easter Holiday I caught up with some of my old friends and I found out one thing- I’m NOT the only person who has changed and we all still got along perfectly. I don’t have a ‘social disease’ it’s just that priorities have shifted positions and ‘caution is the new spontaneity’. I guess I’m just different from the girl I mentioned I was years ago.

So while I maintain my fun loving, gregarious and friendly disposition I’ll also remember to enjoy growing up!