This eyebrow business

So I was looking into the mirror in a bathroom, making sure my new sexy dark purple Avon lipstick (wink) was still in perfect condition when I looked up and almost fell backwards……a woman beside me had THE EYEBROWS OF LIFE!!!! Like literally, they were thick, jet black and sitting right above her eyes in a supposed straight line.

I was hurt; I was angry at her friends and family who saw her do this and couldn’t stop her but I was especially angry at her because I couldn’t fathom how she even thought her eyebrows were allowed on this planet…..such is reserved for Star wars cast and co.

I’m not being hateful; I’m just tired of women who make the rest of us look bad. Recently on twitter, a male friend of mine was ranting about a girl’s eyebrows and the ‘constantly surprised look’ a lot of girls like to have now adays, he asked “were you born with such a deep arch in your brows?” LOL I felt the irritation from the words he typed.

For some ladies it may not be the terrible line or surprised look, it could be the color of the pencil, abeg aunty which dark skin Nigerian woman have you ever seen with wine or ginger hair? Or if it’s not the color, then it’s the thickness of the brows, please are you Chewbacca?

I’ve also noticed that this bad habit isn’t common to only Nigerian women oh, infact I saw a woman of European or middle eastern descent at the airport once with this eyebrow crime and I almost took her picture, I must have given her an evil eye unconsciously sha because I took it personal.

I know we’re told that the eyebrows frame the face, bring out your eyes, etc (trust me I know this, I’ve done several Makeup courses) however, the word ‘frame’ isn’t a synonym for ‘scare the hell out of people’. Not everyone was born with an innate ability to get the perfect brows but there are still some basic, obvious things we can all see shouldn’t be done and trust me you can learn the art!

How can people take you seriously when you have dark brown hair and wine colored caterpillars on your face claiming they are eyebrows? And guys, please be kind and tell your wives, girlfriends, sisters and friends if they look funny after ‘drawing’ their brows; ego may be bruised but trust me because you mentioned it, she will think twice before she does her make up the next day.

Be your sister’s keeper, let God use you to be a blessing to the world and tell a guilty female today, “Girl, fix that eyebrow!”


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So who is the judge of Beauty?

One day I was watching a food show and BAM!! This ‘I’m of Asian descent yet-just came out of the South American sun- but my paternal grandma is Jamaican looking babe’ just appeared on the screen! I’m NOT joking; she could pass for one of the finest women I had ever seen in my life!

Seriously, I was on the phone and I made a sound; the person I was talking to had to ask “what’s the problem?” I just said something dropped! Actually, something really dropped- my jaw!

Within seconds I was analysing her haircut, skin, eyes, neck (which must have been like 24 inches long) and I couldn’t believe it! She didn’t look like she had ever had surgery or altered anything; she didn’t even seem like she had any form of beauty regime; her natural bronzed glow was most likely a result of spending hours in the sun walking through the market looking for recipes/ingredients (as a restaurateur/chef); her black eyeliner looked like she applied it on the stairs on her way into the studio; in fact her slightly extra-long neck added to her beauty! It was hard not to hate her! She was effortlessly (almost ignorantly) beautiful!

Wait……before you begin to wonder if I have ‘crossed to the other side of the road’, let me get my point out……..to be honest, after about 10 minutes I concluded that there was something not ‘normal’ about her; yep! I told myself “Issalie, there has to be something wrong with her jor!”.

But as a good girl whose conscience isn’t dead I felt bad! I felt bad that I couldn’t just accept that another woman was naturally beautiful without looking like she spent hours in front of the mirror or at the salon (she had a boyish looking hair cut) or at the gym. And besides her physical beauty, she was successful in her career…..the green eyed monster just didn’t want me to rest.

I read an article few months ago written by media personality ToolzO (who is another beautiful lady people just love to hate) and she talked about how women find it so easy to bring down each other. Her article made sense and from that time I made an effort to pay people compliments. Before then I may think of the compliments yet keep mum but I know that when you pay someone a genuine compliment you make them feel good about themselves and I also know that there can never be an overdose of boosting someone else’s self-esteem; truth is when you see that your words make someone feel good, you also feel good about yourself!

As someone obsessed with the idea of beauty and makeup, I find myself looking at people and their features and having an opinion about it. I’ve experienced that once you don’t accept a certain unflattering feature, that burden can kill! True! I’ve also learnt that once you get the chance to alter it (maybe through surgery or creams) you can never be satisfied. Your slightly wide nose actually fits your eyes and if it doesn’t, darling there is the power of contouring! Don’t die!

Really though who declares the beginning and the end of what is beautiful or not?

It’s not so hard, learn to appreciate yourself and others; when I see someone with great skin or nicely done makeup, I ask for their beauty secret; they would even be more than willing to share. At a mall recently, I and a friend complimented the girl at the counter so much she gave my friend her set of bangles; I can also bet we made her day because she truly had good skin and nice full hair and our words only reassured her.

Stop wishing your black thick hair away, one Asian chic may be wondering why God made her own hair straw straight and scanty while you’re here giving your left arm for Malaysian human hair! Remember we’re all imperfectly perfect *wink*

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Who deserves the Big red ‘A’

There is this book called ‘The Scarlet letter’ by Nathaniel Hawthorne about a woman who had a child from an adulterous affair and had to wear a big red ‘A’ on her chest to show her shame.

I got interested in the book when it was adapted in the 2010 movie ‘Easy A’ (a movie I totally love); I never got to read the novel but thanks to Google I read a plot summary and review.

Recently, after one of my discussions about Boy-Girl relationships with a group of friends, I sat alone and asked the question “What makes a woman wayward?” Like what qualities does she need to possess or what traits would she display to be tagged a wayward girl?

Some people frown at tattoos, piercings, drinking alcohol, smoking, having sex, partying, wearing ‘indecent’ dresses, being single with kids (whether you’re unmarried or a widow) etc. I realised I don’t have an answer to this except what society’s stereotypes try to define as right and wrong.

Maybe due to the rebellious nature of being a youth, I’ve had my fair share of desires; I wanted to have red hair (even made a failed attempt at dying my hair), I wanted to have several piercings (was just waiting for the time I was away from the scrutinizing eyes of my parents long enough), enjoyed male attention, wanted to be a single parent and other things I choose not to reveal here (yes, wos ya bizness?) Anyway, after going through these times and from where I stand now, could you say I was wayward? Would you look at me with my almost red hair, double earrings, ankle chain and my amethyst contact lenses and automatically decorate my room in hell? Would you raise your nose at me if I told you I spent the night at a male friend’s house or I drank JD and coke with friends at a party?

Looking at the book the scarlet letter, the man behind the matter never got punished oh! He wasn’t asked to wear the letter ‘A’, be exiled or do a jail term. And even though the book was set in 1642, much hasn’t really changed- some get punished for being socially unacceptable while some get away with it.

This isn’t a gender equality argument, it’s just me wondering why things are the way they are and why humans are quick to ‘name’, ‘tag’ and ‘judge’ a person (often female), an appearance and a matter.

A recent scandal between a Pastor and a lady got people calling her all sort of names; why? Is it because she had pre-marital sex? Did she have sex with herself? Or because she was bold enough to state her experience? I can never be on anyone’s team in this ‘delicate’ matter but did we ever stop to think that maybe she did it from a place of hurt? From a place of exhaustion; tired of the burden of being expected to be a certain way or even plain ignorance?

We can never ALL be the same; I believe God is who I look to for moral guidance, the Word of God and the Holy Spirit convict me. We’re all born with a conscience (who teaches a 2 year old to hide after breaking a bottle of water?) an inner moral compass that states right from wrong which was placed there by our Creator. I believe this is influenced negatively or positively by our family, experiences, choices and of course the almighty society!!!

I’ll probably still think about this for a while because I don’t have all the answers, I already imagine people will argue with this but I simply put my thoughts on paper. My opinion on this matter may even change because I’m open to learn the truth and be better for it; a place I believe we should all work to be rather than spend energy judging.

 

The Goddess is One

Yaaaay!!! Pencil Goddess is 1

My first post on the 24^th of August 2012 was probably me psyching myself about how ready I was to blog forever. I wasn’t deceived that being consistent (in ANYTHING) comes easy but I was willing.

And now, after a year it honestly feels good that I made it this far because trust me there were times I asked “who sent me message?”

It has been fun and enlightening; the responses and reactions to things I write- that my thoughts expressed can make people laugh, sad or ponder. I’ve also developed the habit of consciously holding on to lessons I learn even from seemingly random things.

So to every single person who has ever clicked the link; to all my friends who ever broadcasted/shared any of my posts I’m exceedingly grateful, you have no idea how good it makes me feel and how it boosts my confidence that what I have to ‘say’ is worth reading.

And to Perkins, who I disturb with the silliest tech issues but puts up with my stress, THANK YOU!

Here’s to many more funny experiences so I can share with you all, Lool!

***the goddess and I shall be enjoying a cake later!!! (YES! Because she deserves it and yes we are throwing our diet out the window for this ; )

Finally I Won

I WONNN!!! Yep I won the Fashion Fair Capsule collection in the picture above at a Makeup fair.

You may say it’s not a big deal but for me it is because I don’t think I’m a very lucky person and I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way; I’m unlucky when it comes to winning gifts- it just happens that I don’t walk into the supermarket when they are doing a promo with free carton of Indomie noodles; when Globacom is giving out N20million to their telecomm subscribers or when DSTV decides to give a devoted customer free 12 months subscription.

Well luck smiled at me few days ago at a Makeup fair (which I almost didn’t attend because I had been at a wedding all day and was exhausted) but I’m devoted to the course so I psyched myself and off I went to the fair.

After almost an hour of trying hard but failing to stick to my plan to ONLY window shop and NOT buy anything, I went to say good bye to a friend and then I heard the hostess begin to talk about the give aways and anyone who was interested should raise her hand. She must have announced it like 3 times before I got the courage to raise my hand, normally I won’t do such a thing because I don’t want a situation where I show I’m interested and then I don’t get the prize.

Well I’m glad I obeyed the small voice that told me “what’s the worst that can happen?”; the hostess told me to walk forward and I noticed 3 other women had indicated interest. She asked the first lady a question and when I heard the answer she gave I became more confident. I raised my hand and when she asked me I gave my answer. The next 30 seconds must have been the longest of my life because suddenly I remembered how I never win gifts and now infront of all these cameras and people I will make a fool of myself.

She asked my name and told me to face the cameras; she asked a few questions and next thing I heard her say “Well your guess is correct, you’ve won……….” I didn’t hear her again oh, I started clapping and I think I snatched the case out of her hand. Cameras started flashing, people were clapping and I heard a guy with a video camera ask me “How do you feel?”. I couldn’t believe it………I had WON!

I remember telling my friend “Thank God I didn’t leave!” and immediately what came to my mind was ‘being at the right place at the right time’ makes almost anything possible. I could have been anywhere else or allowed myself be lazy at home, doing something random that may have ruined my day but I made a choice to be at this place where I got great discounts on products, made new friends and ultimately won an amazing gift!

Surprisingly, I had seen a Fashion Fair color collection online weeks earlier and I was looking for where to buy it so I guess ‘If you desire it, you can get it!’ *GRIN*. Two great things happened for me; I broke the jinx of not getting gifts and I was reminded of the positive results of listening to your instinct and taking a courageous step forward.

When I think of those few minutes that day (and even reading this post), I can’t help but laugh at myself and my drama but it makes me genuinely happy I didn’t chicken out; feels like I was immediately rewarded for being obedient! (However the N20 million from Globacom for all my years of putting up with their epileptic network will ease the pain sha)

The Fall

 

The prince of darkness is a gentleman - William Shakespeare

I close my eyes and sigh as I see another one fall for yet another lie

And I hear the chains clamp down on his neck and wrists

As he is led away into further deceit and if he’s never rescued, ultimately destruction

Just like the millions before him, he succumbs to allegations that are glaringly untrue

It’s always the same story, simply presented in a different and customized package

I do nothing because I have no power to offer any form of help to this being

I’ve also learnt that I may lose what is left of my life if I rebel (again)

I look at him, the one who is so skilled in the art of lies and deceit

I was a victim and that is how I got to this place of eternal darkness

How did I believe him? How did I accept his offer of a better life when my life was already the best?

‘The bringer of light’ is what he is called

I won’t deny I was intrigued by him,

Captivated by his smoothness, admired his gifts and ‘alleged’ wisdom

Wondering why he seemed different and better than the rest of us.

I was beautiful once too

But that was in a place far away from here

Life was easy and the result of all my assignments were good

But he came and with his words painted pictures of things I had never heard

Promises of a life of power I had never known existed.

After ‘the fall’ and the realization of my true state I longed for a way to get back what I had

I don’t know how long it has been but I know I’ve lost hope that there is a way back home.

 

**I don’t intend to ‘promote’ any character with this post, it was birth out of me just randomly thinking if there was ever a fallen angel who realized his mistake for rebelling against God with lucifer and desired to go back home to Heaven.

Hollywood and the moral of their movies

I watched one of my favourite movies (The Dark Knight Rises) again recently and somewhere in the middle (when Bane was standing on a tank in front of the prison, addressing the people of Gotham to take justice into their hands) I had to pause and think about the actor who played this character.

Tom Hardy who played Bane in the movie had 3months of grueling physical training to gain 30 pounds, learn various fighting styles and have a tight mask molded for his face to play the role of this villain who almost killed Batman. Beyond physical appearance, some actors need to change accents and mannerisms, act psychotic or quit certain habits. If that is not devotion to the job and excellence, I wonder what is.

Hardy isn’t the only actor who has had to make drastic changes to his/her appearance to perfectly play a role. Recently I had this discussion with a group of people and someone pointed out that of course these Hollywood actors will be willing to do anything because of what they are paid; as much as I agree, I believe for them it’s beyond the money, they know and are convinced beyond a doubt that the only way they can accomplish their dreams of being world-renowned entertainers is if they maintain that spirit and acts of excellence.

I guess that’s why the movie industry called ‘Hollywood’ has existed for what seems like forever and will remain an industry worth billions of dollars –all the players understand the need to be excellent.

How many of us put in our all in what we do? How many of us consistently and unfailingly keep upgrading our skills or are willing to pay ‘the price’ for that which we want?

Most of us may have heard Tyler Perry’s story and how he suffered rejection severally until things started working out and now regardless of how predictable some of his movies can be, we remain fans of his work and he’s a millionaire simply from telling stories!

I sometimes get scared to write and post an article because I wonder how people will react or if it’s good enough. But if I don’t fail at least once how would I know when I get it right? And who even said I’ll fail? I worry that whatever industry I want to break into is already ‘full’ but I’m sure the sky is wide enough for all species of birds if not God would have made plans to expand the space.

I have seen that excellence is a global language; there are no standards or levels of excellence, it’s the same level in China, US, Nigeria and Australia. And if whatever you want to achieve or who you want to be doesn’t reach that global standard then forget about your dream of world domination. I figure that’s why someone like Deola Sagoe can make clothes for Hollywood stars because of the undeniable excellence in her product and service- they want the solution she is offering and are not bothered about her nationality.

However if your dream is to cater to the 100 people in your neighborhood please I have nothing against you and I don’t judge where you are but for those of us who know we have been called to deal with more than our immediate surroundings, it’s time to buckle up and be ‘uncompromisingly excellent’!