When the Cup is full

I’ve learnt that no one can really tell you when it’s enough….

Regardless of how many family members, friends or foe try to change your heart about a situation, even one that’s life threatening, you’ve to make that decision all by yourself.

I’ve had people tell me to change different things about myself; how I talk, how I walk, who I choose as friends for a particular season, the way I wear my makeup or clothes, how I advertise my business etc but looking back I realized that every change I made, whether good or bad was because I got to the point where it was enough! I’d simply HAD IT!

Usually I had to suffer though, either someone hurt me or I lost a valuable thing before I got to the point of walking away. It would also be honest of me to note that there were times during my long walk away, that I almost looked back; this may not often be weakness it’s just that, good or bad, change is hard and totally severing ties that once bound you to something or someone is not the easiest of things to do.

Other times it may not be the walking away, it may just be the fact that you want to feel like you won. Especially if it’s a relationship (of any kind), you’d very much like to feel the satisfaction that the person (s) you’re walking away from is sad or regrets. However, if you would be honest, you know that is hardly the case, in fact when you run into the person, he/she may even look like their life is better and that hurts. Or you would stare at the phone and beg some telecommunication god that your new former friend should call only to experience the joy of having to ignore the call.

With time you’d see that the whole drama or desire to win is totally not worth the trouble; Let it go! You consciously got to the point of realizing you needed a change so just get up and go! It also requires conscious, consistent and sometimes physical efforts; being accountable to someone who would keep you on track, having a target/to- do list, not picking calls or replying mails, setting time-framed goals, whatever it takes just do it because you know you deserve the great rewards that accompany dedication to that change.

Beyond anything else, forgive yourself; which can be very hard but is the most liberating step of the whole process. Don’t dwell on the lost time or how you would have handled issues differently (sometimes you re-live scenarios in front of a mirror or imagine how intelligent and nonchalant you plan to sound if you ever run into the person, Lool); try not to worry about the gains you missed if you had set out on a different path, like how wealthy you may have been at this age if you didn’t spend so many years being afraid…..it’s never too late to make better choices. Believe me, if you can get over hurting and condemning yourself that is when you have truly won!