NO LONGER AFRAID

I know a man who to me was never afraid of anything.

He walked around with this air of assurance that nothing could go wrong

The way he dresses, boldly splashing colors not even stopping to see the astonished or admiring looks on the faces of passersby.

The way he talked showed he wasn’t worried about being judged.

The things he did and the way he gave made you wonder, “Won’t this guy run out of money or things?”

The way he travelled, either to Lagos, London, Dubai, and more; he could never have been afraid of planes.

This man led the path for me to overcome a lot of my fears; fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, the fear of flying.

“To get over your fear, you have to face it. Keep doing that thing you are afraid of and you’ll see that you’ll conquer it.” Those were the words he said to a group of youths he was addressing at a meeting in Church. The first thing I did was laugh and I thought, “Ehen, so I go just they fly about abi?” LOL but really I understood what he was saying. And funny he would say such at the time because my job then required me to travel (by air) a lot that period. So I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to die in a plane crash. Another thing this man said sometimes that I held on to was, “I won’t die in a plane crash, I refuse to die like a lizard or something that would be crushed and my body won’t be found.” (He was quoting another preacher). So every time I got on a plane, I had my word weapons to keep me calm.

But on Sunday the 3^rd of June 2012, a plane crash took his life.

It was hard not to ask questions, “How can this man who knew so much, who seemed so strong, who was always flying, die in a plane crash? Is this a joke?”

I waited and waited for him to walk right through the door. I swear, I have never refused to believe anything so much in my life. Everything he had ever said to me kept coming back- some that I didn’t understand at the time it was said suddenly made sense.

I was angry that all that this man carried and the vision he shared yet to be complete- great ideas- would just die. I’ve seen too many good people die; I couldn’t understand why this man had to be one of them. And even if he had to eventually die, why did it have to be this way? He deserved better.

He had so much hope; he was always optimistic, it was hard to be afraid around him, it has hard not to catch the light that so shone in and around him. He made everything easy while at the same time making you understand that you have to be patient and take responsibility.

You knew everybody, even names you didn’t remember you knew faces and you always smiled, raised an eyebrow, winked, gave a thumbs up, a handshake or a hug; NO ONE came across you and left feeling rejected.

To some you were Pastor Color, some others AK, to me you were Pastor Akizzle, LOL I remember the first time I called you that, I wrote it in your birthday card in January and someone said, “Kai, Anu its only you that would have liver to call Pastor Akin that!”. All I did was smile and pass the card to the next person to sign. I guess now I know I learnt from the best how not to be afraid.

I will never forget you, sometimes I’m still lost for words at the whole episode and I have to fight back tears in public so people won’t think I'm crazy. If friends and subordinates can be so affected by your life then what are your family members supposed to do or feel now? So I’ll get over myself and keep smiling, I’ll hold on to the lessons learnt and memories of the joy you shared. I’ll ‘man-up’ and take responsibility, I’ll keep building my capacity and be all that I can be because that is what you want, that was your plan- to raise the right type of leaders for this generation and the ones to come.

I salute you Rev. Akinola Olumodeji (aka ACTOR NO DEY DIE) get rid of the angels’ robes and show them how to rock purple bespoke blazers, orange charm bracelets, Ralph Tops and Grey Suede shoes. LOL