Pages

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Smile……It’s Christmas!


My life is amazing and I say this mainly because I’m alive today; I strongly believe that once there is life, there is hope. Not because it is a saying people have come to accept especially when things are not working out but because it has applied to my life and I have risen above whatever hardship I may have gone through simply because my creator said it wasn’t time. And because I’ve been blessed with time, I have been given an opportunity to right the wrongs and hold on to faith.

It’s hard to believe a year has gone by so far but I’m extremely grateful; grateful for my faith; my family; my friends; hurts; laughter; rewards; disappointments and of course lessons learnt either in easy or painful ways.

I stand today with a reaffirmed belief that I can go through whatever I have to and still come out as gold. Out of necessity, habit or hope we humans take decisions often without giving much thought to them; we buy this, eat that, get on a plane, quit that job, move to a new town or permit ourselves to fall in love with no assurance that we would get it in return.

Yet I realized that whether our decisions (serious or trivial) end up with good or bad results, every human has the capacity to carry or handle what happens as long as we don’t give up. I hold on to the truth that God would never allow us pass through what we can’t handle (except you consciously choose to solicit friendship with the devil even after adequate warning, then I’m sorry I can’t guarantee a healthy ending).

So as we celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus, the Son of the Living God, I encourage that we ‘STAND’ firmly in the truth that we can and will overcome whatever; whether plans don’t come to fruition or you even exceeded your to do list for the year, just be grateful. Consciously decide to be in a happy place and remember it’s just 7 days (6 in Australia) before we all start yelling “Happy New Year!!!!” so why wallow in pity? Get it together and get ready to pick up from where you left off!

Merry Christmas People!!!! May we all experience genuine Joy and Peace this season and beyond!

 

Follow me on twitter @Anu_chayil

Google+ Anu Adebayo

Pinterest Anuchayil

 

The image is that of a funny Christmas card I saw this season! Lol

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Passion and Practice Pt II: Nothing like a Lagos party


It’s no longer news that one of my major interests is Photography and ever since I got my beautiful Nikon D3100 I’ve pushed myself to practice more and learn to take better pictures. Check out my Passion and Practice pt I

As a Lagosian by birth, I say this with all pride “there is no party like a Lagos party” or “there is no party like a party thrown by Lagosians anywhere in the world” because I know they can transfer the spirit anywhere, Lol.

So this post is dedicated to my friend, the latest bride Vicky and some of the people who made the last Lagos party I attended TOTALLY ROCK!
 


Makeup by yours truly : ) Face of Chayil
 
 
This is obviously not a good picture but who cares? I mean, how would you know WE know DJ Exclusive? Lool
 
The bride no gree oh! Etighi of laive!
 
 
 
Random…
 
This was taken during my 'practice time' with my teacher, Mr. Cole
 
These flowers were so beautiful! However, they died  : (
 
I think the view is amazing and couldn't resist taking a picture
 
I got a few punches to the head trying to get this close to the lawmakers at a protest at the National Assembly, Abuja.
 
 
 
 
Follow me on twitter @Anu_chayil
Google+ Anu Adebayo
Pinterest Anuchayil

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, 5 December 2013

Will you ever know?


As I switched on my Blackberry after church on sunday the first thing I saw was "RIP Paul Walker" as a contact's status message; because I hardly believe such news I went straight to my ever willing informant and friend...Google to search if it was true and there it was in nydailynews.com that the Hollywood star was really dead.

Instantly my mind went back to the sermon I had just heard minutes ago; the Reverend talked about how we'll never know when it would be our time to leave this world which truly isn't ours. He encouraged that we get close to our Creator and live right and acceptable to Him.

I sat in the car waiting for my friend and my heart was heavy. As she walked to me and I started telling her what I just heard, I started crying; my friend was surprised because I'm not much of a crier. You may even ask "what's your own? Did you know him?" And I dare say yes, yes I knew Paul Walker because I was a fan, I liked who I saw on television and in magazines. He was an image of Hollywood I admired because I didn't think he was dirty or controversial and yes I knew him because everytime I watched a movie he starred in, Paul Walker and his co- stars had the power to get some form of emotion out of me; either anxiety from the suspense, laughter at the humour or jaw dropping shock at the car stunts they just pulled off (I secretly fell in love with fast cars after 'Fast 5' which is the best to me) But most of all, the news of his death kind of brought home the message of the sermon I just heard.

The Bible talks about patriarchs who at an old age and after a very long life set their affairs in order, gathered their children, blessed them, dusted their feet, lay on their beds and peacefully died; however, that’s not the case when you are young, healthy and with unfulfilled plans.

We often hear clerics tell us to live right and at peace with our Creator but sometimes we forget these Words after a few days; we've also seen times where a movie makes major box office success because one of the actors died before the release or companies begin to investigate or recall a product once there is a controversy involved. However, one thing I'd take away from this is that you can never truly know when it's time to go; for someone like me I’m more worried of the ‘how’.

Driving cars made the 40 year old actor way more popular than he was before his role in the 'Fast' series; he probably got into a car almost everyday of his life and yet he died in one. At the second of the impact no wealth, fame or good looks could save him; he woke up that day with a completely different plan and absolutely NO idea that he won't make it back. Because he wasn't my family member or close friend I can't tell his relationship with his Creator but I believe he was a good guy, he was a blessing to thousands through his work and charity and he will be greatly missed by those who love him. Rest in peace!

 

Follow me on twitter @Anu_chayil
Google+ Anu Adebayo
Pinterest Anuchayil

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

A Little bit of the goddess


The past 4 weeks have been…….eventful! I’m sure my next few posts may reveal part of my recent experiences however I’d like to first apologise that the goddess hasn’t been as consistent as promised (I got harassed by some friends and readers) and I sincerely, genuinely apologise. Believe me, I don’t take for granted that there are people waiting to read what I have to say/write.

Meanwhile, my amazing friend Belinda of Diary of a Fashion Enthusiast  nominated my blog for the Liebster Award, I was surprised and at first nervous (because I had no idea what it was about) yet happy so THANKS babes, u rock!!

From explanations, the Liebster Award targets new bloggers or blogs with great content yet a not so huge following, with the aim of getting them more exposure; therefore it's an award given by bloggers to other bloggers.

The rules include:

1. Give a shout out to the person who nominated you and link back to them.

2. Post 11 things about yourself.

3. Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.

4. Nominate 11 more blogs and link them in your post and create 11 questions for them to answer.

5. Make sure you let them know they have been nominated via your social media of choice.

*Answering and forming these questions actually got me thinking about myself; so I’d advice that anyone who reads this post should answer the questions or think of random things about yourself in case someone asked you or simply for self-discovery.
And I'd totally appreciate comments (maybe state one random thing about yourself or recommend a blog to be nominated)

 11 Random Stuvs About Me

1)     I like teaching

2)   I LOVE beans (in whatever form-Akara, moi moi, gbegiri, boiled) can eat it everyday and at any time.

3)   I’m a freelance Makeup artist

4)   I’m a good dancer but I regret that I didn’t make ‘DANCE’ a part time career from when I was younger, now I fear I’m too heavy to dance professionally

5)    My voice is really loud

6)   I like to read

7)    I can’t whistle

8)   I really like Nigeria and I pray for her; if I ever live in another country I’d like to still move back home

9)   I don’t like crying

10)                       Out of all the fruits in the world, I can eat only about 7 (Bananas are the worst! Yuck!)

11) One of the things I remind myself as often as possible is 2nd Tim 1:7 “God hasn’t given me the spirit of fear but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind (or Self Discipline depending on the situation); this scripture gets me going!

 

Questions from Diary of a Fashion Enthusiast

1.      Would you consider blogging as a full time job)?

Yes, if it can help me fulfil all I’m supposed to and of course if I can earn a very good living from it

2.    What's your number one guilty pleasure?

CHOCOLATE!!! (as a drink, biscuit, cake, candy etc) The guilt I carry after indulging can kill but can’t let go.

3.    If you won a million dollars, how would you spend it?

A million dollars in Naira is about N160 million so I’d pay tithe, buy a house and car, do something for my parents and siblings, invest in stocks and my retail business, do Sara (a Yoruba word used to describe when you cook and gather clothes and give out to the homeless or less privileged), go shopping, whatever remains I’ll figure it out

4.    What's number one on your bucket list?

Have a child. Don’t know if it’s my number one though, but it’s high on my list.

5.     What's your fave fashion item at the moment?

At the moment I have 2; LIPSTICKS- I have about 40 tubes now with intentions of getting more. AND rings, I feel naked without a ring on my finger

6.    Which makeup/beauty item can't you live without?

Pencils

7.     Which country would you love to visit or revisit and why?

Dubai. I’d love to revisit and revisit and even live there for a while.    It’s Beautiful- the people, the weather (apart from July/August sha), the shops and markets, the buildings, even the services on Emirates airline before you get there *sigh*

8.    What's the most expensive item in your wardrobe?

Jewellery

9.    What's number one on your wish list?

A car- Toyota Venza or any other beautiful but spacious car for my mobile retail store ; )

10.          Who's your favourite artist and song?

Right now I’m in love with Tasha Cobbs and Emeli Sande. And I can’t choose just one of either person’s songs

11.  Android or iOS?

Android

 

Questions to everyone I have tagged

1.      Describe yourself in just one word

2.    What do you conceive God to be (or who is God to you?) in one sentence

3.    Three things that make you genuinely happy

4.    Great(est) fear

5.     Last thing you threw away

6.    If you were to die by the end of today, mention 3 things you’d do if you had no limits

7.     First crush

8.    Best book ever read

9.    2 people you admire and why

10.                        If you could have one super power what would it be?

11.  Why did you start blogging?

 My nominees are:

The rule says nominate 11 blogs but I don’t have up to 11 upcoming blogs that I follow or know; I felt ‘a bit’ bad about this though because I thought I should know more blogs.....but I’ll heal! So I’ll nominate these 7 that I know are active and would really enjoy reading their answers.
 

Follow me on twitter @Anu_chayil
Google+ Anu Adebayo
Pinterest Anuchayil

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Snatching is the new Dating


So I have realised (after carrying last in this matter) that snatching is the new way to date!

Not kidding, I noticed that nowadays a girl doesn’t seem to have a problem ‘hanging’ around a guy who has a girlfriend because there is hope that since he isn’t officially married he can change his mind and choose her.

I once told a friend that I refuse to enjoy the company of an ‘attached’ man and she plainly said I was dulling because he isn’t ‘married’ so what was the problem? Hian! The problem is that when I eventually fall for him and then he doesn’t call off his wedding to this other woman, what would happen to me?

I’m not saying you can’t be friends with someone who has a partner oh, ask my close friends and they will tell you I’m the master of friendship (sometimes they say it’s to my own detriment); I would have turned you to 'padi' before anything (I truly believe you can never tell for sure why someone comes into your life).

However, if from the beginning you both are straight up and honest with yourselves and no empty promises then fine, whatever now happens is of your own doing. But not a situation where the guy is ‘hovering and covering and blocking and telling you stories that touch’ and you’re enjoying this whole process only for him to invite you to his wedding! What do you want me to do there biko? Serve food or souvenir?

It’s not only the women who try this stunt, there are even some men who oppress impressionable women who are in their own relationships, trying to cause confusion in her life and truncate her marital destiny! WHY?!

I’m not going to say “oh men are demons or babes are fools” (I don’t have the perfect opinion about everything) what I’m concerned about is “how did we get here?” this stage where the lines and boundaries in boy-girl relationships have become blurred or none existent and has it always been this way?

I won’t claim innocence because I’ve been a willing prey as well as an ignorant predator in this matter in my past life, however I’m afraid. Afraid that if it’s so confusing now, what would it be like when I have a 16 year old female child? By then would there be a difference between an acquaintance, colleague, classmate, neighbour, close friend and boyfriend? Would there be clear cut distinctions between all these people?  Or we’ll all be intertwined and enjoying ‘benefits’ of these relationships?

I wonder how high the rate of emotional trauma or mental illnesses will be by then, because I’m sure beyond a doubt that more young people will still commit suicide from being disappointed or heart broken when that ‘attached unofficial partner’ decides to marry that other person and then you realize you’ve spent months/years enjoying the company of this person that was NEVER yours!

I’ve heard stories of people who snatched and are happily married no problem at all, like seriously I don’t judge you. Maybe if I knew how to snatch I won’t still be unmarried, however as a traditional girl I want a SINGLE UNATTACHED man to be with ONLY me officially and unofficially! Thank you! I don’t have energy for avoidable drama or heart-paining!

And some people may say “what if you’re the one he wants to marry and he has unofficial babe outside who wants to displace you?” Ehn, no argument, you’ll only have to wait and see if that ever happens to me because there are somethings I don’t even permit to worry me now (And besides have you ever experienced the power of a violent praying woman?! Lool)
 
* According to the image, don’t you see how easy it is to kill yourself when you’re stuck between zones?!
 

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Reaching for the eye of the Storm


 
A few years ago if someone asked me what I really wanted, I’d say ‘to be happy’, most people didn’t understand and they automatically just assumed I was a sad person. Quite the opposite because I was always smiling and some friends called me ‘Aquafresh’ due to my ever wide smile.

One day I heard a preacher say “Happiness is elusive. The more you reach for it; it seems to move away from you”. Like the world was trying to teach me a lesson, not long after that I read somewhere that “Happiness is a journey not a destination” so working towards ‘a place of happiness’ isn’t the right thing to do but rather enjoy life now.

Stroll down a few years and my desire shifted from ‘happiness’ to ‘peace’; I just always wanted to feel like I had it all figured out- no storms or turbulence. I quickly learnt that will never be the case because with growth comes responsibilities, choices to make and hurdles to cross.

To sometimes keep my sanity, I have a habit of asking “what is the morale of this story/situation” even from seemingly mundane or funny things. It somehow started as a joke but I’m used to it now and it helps me maintain my sense of humour in otherwise painful circumstances.

Some of the things I’ve learnt in recent time that helped me keep my peace and happiness;

        Don’t apply liquid eyeliner in a moving car; I have a talent -I can apply makeup on my face anywhere and anytime- car, airplane, in the dark, as I eat etc however, one fateful day, as I lined my eyes in the car on my way to the office, the driver/car decided to move in a drastic manner and BLACK OUT! Like literally, I saw black! I looked into the mirror and there was more black in my right eye. I laughed at myself, it hurt but I laughed.

And it occurred to me that it’s not right to take things for granted, I mean why couldn’t I just be disciplined and be fast enough to do my makeup at home at the appropriate place and time? Rather than almost remove my eye? It’s easy to fall into a routine believing things will always work as we’ve known but change happens and we should often be ready for the unplanned!

        Always have backup; Carry vex money EVERYWHERE and hide money in random places for days you’re dead broke; have your documents on your computer, phone backed up on some external device; have Indomie noodles at home always (you won’t know the day this will be all you have to eat so you won’t die in your sleep from hunger, Lol); have extra recharge card for your phone hidden in your wallet or pocket or saved as a phone number; take tissue with you to the toilet because the roll there may just have finished and we don’t need that kind of situation.

        Have different kind of friends on speed dial- the one you can call to pick you up when you have messed up and you’re stranded, the one who is ready to roll up sleeves and fight with you then ask questions later and the one who won’t judge you but would tell you the truth and the faith-filled and spiritual one you can ask to pray for and with you.

        Self-promotion is not a sin; Blow your own trumpet! Because nobody can effectively do this for you. This is something I’m still learning though because I can be the worst advertisement of what I’m selling. As a makeup artist, it’s only recently I decided to ALWAYS wear makeup because you can never tell who is watching or interested in buying what you’re selling.

        Keep calm and drink cold water; Calm down! (I need to tell myself this often) You are not the Holy Spirit, Wonder woman or Superman! Not everything is a battle; know when to let things go. Don’t die trying to save the world! Try to enjoy your life while you have it, stop being such a robot!

        Always wear clean and neat underwear incase you’re in an accident (ok….I stole this from my friend’s mother). But really it makes sense, if you’re unconscious and have to be rushed to the hospital; you don’t want to be seen in torn, faded underwear, trust me some people are evil enough to still laugh and judge you when you’re almost dead.

Try to avoid embarrassing situations as much as you can, just like investing money in quality underwear can save your life, invest money and time in things that matter so when you need to ‘prove’ yourself, you won’t be ashamed!

        Not all that glitters is gold, some are sequin; Be careful and don’t allow yourself be deceived by something so shiny and bright. There is so much costume jewellery in the market now, it’s hard to know the difference!

Same way, ask questions about everything; don’t feel too proud or be afraid that you’ll look silly. It’s better to ask and know than fall victim; “I didn’t know” or “I was deceived” is no longer an acceptable excuse, it’s you that dulled! Most importantly remember we all have instinct (what I like to call spirit) and if we can just pay attention, we won’t get into so much trouble so often.

        Wear colour; Wear red or purple or orange lipstick sometimes. Guys, wear that pink or olive green shirt, we won’t judge you. Bottom line BE BOLD! Take risks, don’t limit yourself, try new things, allow yourself like someone else, travel to someplace you’ve not been, take that course, wave at a stranger in a car beside you in traffic, make that phone call (or send the text), laugh when you fall, be the first to say hi, forgive that hurt, basically just do what you need to at least once in your life and then you can tell yourself “I tried” most times, it’s even an “I did it!” you get. 

        STOP PROCASTINATING! STOP PROCASTINATING!! STOP PROCASTINATING!!! Enough said…….

Life will never be perfect! As long as you’re breathing, there would always be situations you’d rather not deal with. But I’m sure the Eagle doesn’t beg God to keep the storm away, rather it waits for it and glides through the winds, going higher; it actually finds peace right in the eye of the storm. And we should all learn to do same!

Follow me on twitter @Anu_chayil
Google+ Anu Adebayo
Pinterest Anuchayil

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Still Hopeful


Today, I truly experienced what it means to wake up on the right side of your bed!

I woke up feeling good; I woke up grateful and hopeful; believing my dead dreams could be resurrected. Believing I could be what God created me to be in spite of obstacles, delays or my stupidity; I could rise above all and still be great.

And I’ve decided to consciously feel the same for Nigeria; the past few weeks have been hard especially with issues in the north and how some people feel it’s acceptable to slaughter their fellow men like chickens. I can’t even imagine the sermon you can preach to an orphan that God will protect him when someone just lied that the same God sent him to blow his parents into a million pieces.
 
We can all agree that religion is no longer an excuse for this war and we all wonder when we’ll be truly free from the enemies of terrorism, corruption, lack of infrastructure etc.

But I choose to keep praying for my country; I choose to believe that she will be better and I look forward to a time that even if ALL our issues aren’t solved and we’re not perfect (as no nation is), we will still have hope; we’ll be able to look back and say indeed we’ve come through what may feel farfetched now, that we’ve grown and generations to come won’t ask what we were looking at as our nation was flushed down the drain.

Today, 1st of October 2013, I choose HOPE and HAPPINESS!

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

This eyebrow business


So I was looking into the mirror in a bathroom, making sure my new sexy dark purple Avon lipstick (wink) was still in perfect condition when I looked up and almost fell backwards……a woman beside me had THE EYEBROWS OF LIFE!!!! Like literally, they were thick, jet black and sitting right above her eyes in a supposed straight line.

I was hurt; I was angry at her friends and family who saw her do this and couldn’t stop her but I was especially angry at her because I couldn’t fathom how she even thought her eyebrows were allowed on this planet…..such is reserved for Star wars cast and co.

I’m not being hateful; I’m just tired of women who make the rest of us look bad. Recently on twitter, a male friend of mine was ranting about a girl’s eyebrows and the ‘constantly surprised look’ a lot of girls like to have now adays, he asked “were you born with such a deep arch in your brows?” LOL I felt the irritation from the words he typed.

For some ladies it may not be the terrible line or surprised look, it could be the color of the pencil, abeg aunty which dark skin Nigerian woman have you ever seen with wine or ginger hair? Or if it’s not the color, then it’s the thickness of the brows, please are you Chewbacca?

I’ve also noticed that this bad habit isn’t common to only Nigerian women oh, infact I saw a woman of European or middle eastern descent at the airport once with this eyebrow crime and I almost took her picture, I must have given her an evil eye unconsciously sha because I took it personal.

I know we’re told that the eyebrows frame the face, bring out your eyes, etc (trust me I know this, I’ve done several Makeup courses) however, the word ‘frame’ isn’t a synonym for ‘scare the hell out of people’. Not everyone was born with an innate ability to get the perfect brows but there are still some basic, obvious things we can all see shouldn’t be done and trust me you can learn the art!

How can people take you seriously when you have dark brown hair and wine colored caterpillars on your face claiming they are eyebrows? And guys, please be kind and tell your wives, girlfriends, sisters and friends if they look funny after ‘drawing’ their brows; ego may be bruised but trust me because you mentioned it, she will think twice before she does her make up the next day.

Be your sister’s keeper, let God use you to be a blessing to the world and tell a guilty female today, “Girl, fix that eyebrow!”


Follow me on twitter @Anu_chayil
Google+ Anu Adebayo
Pinterest Anuchayil

 

Monday, 16 September 2013

So who is the judge of Beauty?


One day I was watching a food show and BAM!! This ‘I’m of Asian descent yet-just came out of the South American sun- but my paternal grandma is Jamaican looking babe’ just appeared on the screen! I’m NOT joking; she could pass for one of the finest women I had ever seen in my life!

Seriously, I was on the phone and I made a sound; the person I was talking to had to ask “what’s the problem?” I just said something dropped! Actually, something really dropped- my jaw!

Within seconds I was analysing her haircut, skin, eyes, neck (which must have been like 24 inches long) and I couldn’t believe it! She didn’t look like she had ever had surgery or altered anything; she didn’t even seem like she had any form of beauty regime; her natural bronzed glow was most likely a result of spending hours in the sun walking through the market looking for recipes/ingredients (as a restaurateur/chef); her black eyeliner looked like she applied it on the stairs on her way into the studio; in fact her slightly extra-long neck added to her beauty! It was hard not to hate her! She was effortlessly (almost ignorantly) beautiful!

Wait……before you begin to wonder if I have ‘crossed to the other side of the road’, let me get my point out……..to be honest, after about 10 minutes I concluded that there was something not ‘normal’ about her; yep! I told myself “Issalie, there has to be something wrong with her jor!”.

But as a good girl whose conscience isn’t dead I felt bad! I felt bad that I couldn’t just accept that another woman was naturally beautiful without looking like she spent hours in front of the mirror or at the salon (she had a boyish looking hair cut) or at the gym. And besides her physical beauty, she was successful in her career…..the green eyed monster just didn’t want me to rest.

I read an article few months ago written by media personality ToolzO (who is another beautiful lady people just love to hate) and she talked about how women find it so easy to bring down each other. Her article made sense and from that time I made an effort to pay people compliments. Before then I may think of the compliments yet keep mum but I know that when you pay someone a genuine compliment you make them feel good about themselves and I also know that there can never be an overdose of boosting someone else’s self-esteem; truth is when you see that your words make someone feel good, you also feel good about yourself!

As someone obsessed with the idea of beauty and makeup, I find myself looking at people and their features and having an opinion about it. I’ve experienced that once you don’t accept a certain unflattering feature, that burden can kill! True! I’ve also learnt that once you get the chance to alter it (maybe through surgery or creams) you can never be satisfied. Your slightly wide nose actually fits your eyes and if it doesn’t, darling there is the power of contouring! Don’t die!

Really though who declares the beginning and the end of what is beautiful or not?

It’s not so hard, learn to appreciate yourself and others; when I see someone with great skin or nicely done makeup, I ask for their beauty secret; they would even be more than willing to share. At a mall recently, I and a friend complimented the girl at the counter so much she gave my friend her set of bangles; I can also bet we made her day because she truly had good skin and nice full hair and our words only reassured her.

Stop wishing your black thick hair away, one Asian chic may be wondering why God made her own hair straw straight and scanty while you’re here giving your left arm for Malaysian human hair! Remember we’re all imperfectly perfect *wink*


Follow me on twitter @Anu_chayil
Google+ Anu Adebayo
Pinterest Anuchayil

 

 

 

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Who deserves the Big red ‘A’


There is this book called ‘The Scarlet letter’ by Nathaniel Hawthorne about a woman who had a child from an adulterous affair and had to wear a big red ‘A’ on her chest to show her shame.

I got interested in the book when it was adapted in the 2010 movie ‘Easy A’ (a movie I totally love); I never got to read the novel but thanks to Google I read a plot summary and review.

Recently, after one of my discussions about Boy-Girl relationships with a group of friends, I sat alone and asked the question “What makes a woman wayward?” Like what qualities does she need to possess or what traits would she display to be tagged a wayward girl?

Some people frown at tattoos, piercings, drinking alcohol, smoking, having sex, partying, wearing ‘indecent’ dresses, being single with kids (whether you’re unmarried or a widow) etc. I realised I don’t have an answer to this except what society’s stereotypes try to define as right and wrong.

Maybe due to the rebellious nature of being a youth, I’ve had my fair share of desires; I wanted to have red hair (even made a failed attempt at dying my hair), I wanted to have several piercings (was just waiting for the time I was away from the scrutinizing eyes of my parents long enough), enjoyed male attention, wanted to be a single parent and other things I choose not to reveal here (yes, wos ya bizness?) Anyway, after going through these times and from where I stand now, could you say I was wayward? Would you look at me with my almost red hair, double earrings, ankle chain and my amethyst contact lenses and automatically decorate my room in hell? Would you raise your nose at me if I told you I spent the night at a male friend’s house or I drank JD and coke with friends at a party?

Looking at the book the scarlet letter, the man behind the matter never got punished oh! He wasn’t asked to wear the letter ‘A’, be exiled or do a jail term. And even though the book was set in 1642, much hasn’t really changed- some get punished for being socially unacceptable while some get away with it.

This isn’t a gender equality argument, it’s just me wondering why things are the way they are and why humans are quick to ‘name’, ‘tag’ and ‘judge’ a person (often female), an appearance and a matter.

A recent scandal between a Pastor and a lady got people calling her all sort of names; why? Is it because she had pre-marital sex? Did she have sex with herself? Or because she was bold enough to state her experience? I can never be on anyone’s team in this ‘delicate’ matter but did we ever stop to think that maybe she did it from a place of hurt? From a place of exhaustion; tired of the burden of being expected to be a certain way or even plain ignorance?

We can never ALL be the same; I believe God is who I look to for moral guidance, the Word of God and the Holy Spirit convict me. We’re all born with a conscience (who teaches a 2 year old to hide after breaking a bottle of water?) an inner moral compass that states right from wrong which was placed there by our Creator. I believe this is influenced negatively or positively by our family, experiences, choices and of course the almighty society!!!

I’ll probably still think about this for a while because I don’t have all the answers, I already imagine people will argue with this but I simply put my thoughts on paper. My opinion on this matter may even change because I’m open to learn the truth and be better for it; a place I believe we should all work to be rather than spend energy judging.

 

Saturday, 24 August 2013

The Goddess is One


Yaaaay!!! Pencil Goddess is 1

My first post on the 24th of August 2012 was probably me psyching myself about how ready I was to blog forever. I wasn’t deceived that being consistent (in ANYTHING) comes easy but I was willing.

And now, after a year it honestly feels good that I made it this far because trust me there were times I asked “who sent me message?”

It has been fun and enlightening; the responses and reactions to things I write- that my thoughts expressed can make people laugh, sad or ponder. I’ve also developed the habit of consciously holding on to lessons I learn even from seemingly random things.

So to every single person who has ever clicked the link; to all my friends who ever broadcasted/shared any of my posts I’m exceedingly grateful, you have no idea how good it makes me feel and how it boosts my confidence that what I have to ‘say’ is worth reading.

And to Perkins, who I disturb with the silliest tech issues but puts up with my stress, THANK YOU!

Here’s to many more funny experiences so I can share with you all, Lool!

***the goddess and I shall be enjoying a cake later!!! (YES! Because she deserves it and yes we are throwing our diet out the window for this ; )