Who deserves the Big red ‘A’

There is this book called ‘The Scarlet letter’ by Nathaniel Hawthorne about a woman who had a child from an adulterous affair and had to wear a big red ‘A’ on her chest to show her shame.

I got interested in the book when it was adapted in the 2010 movie ‘Easy A’ (a movie I totally love); I never got to read the novel but thanks to Google I read a plot summary and review.

Recently, after one of my discussions about Boy-Girl relationships with a group of friends, I sat alone and asked the question “What makes a woman wayward?” Like what qualities does she need to possess or what traits would she display to be tagged a wayward girl?

Some people frown at tattoos, piercings, drinking alcohol, smoking, having sex, partying, wearing ‘indecent’ dresses, being single with kids (whether you’re unmarried or a widow) etc. I realised I don’t have an answer to this except what society’s stereotypes try to define as right and wrong.

Maybe due to the rebellious nature of being a youth, I’ve had my fair share of desires; I wanted to have red hair (even made a failed attempt at dying my hair), I wanted to have several piercings (was just waiting for the time I was away from the scrutinizing eyes of my parents long enough), enjoyed male attention, wanted to be a single parent and other things I choose not to reveal here (yes, wos ya bizness?) Anyway, after going through these times and from where I stand now, could you say I was wayward? Would you look at me with my almost red hair, double earrings, ankle chain and my amethyst contact lenses and automatically decorate my room in hell? Would you raise your nose at me if I told you I spent the night at a male friend’s house or I drank JD and coke with friends at a party?

Looking at the book the scarlet letter, the man behind the matter never got punished oh! He wasn’t asked to wear the letter ‘A’, be exiled or do a jail term. And even though the book was set in 1642, much hasn’t really changed- some get punished for being socially unacceptable while some get away with it.

This isn’t a gender equality argument, it’s just me wondering why things are the way they are and why humans are quick to ‘name’, ‘tag’ and ‘judge’ a person (often female), an appearance and a matter.

A recent scandal between a Pastor and a lady got people calling her all sort of names; why? Is it because she had pre-marital sex? Did she have sex with herself? Or because she was bold enough to state her experience? I can never be on anyone’s team in this ‘delicate’ matter but did we ever stop to think that maybe she did it from a place of hurt? From a place of exhaustion; tired of the burden of being expected to be a certain way or even plain ignorance?

We can never ALL be the same; I believe God is who I look to for moral guidance, the Word of God and the Holy Spirit convict me. We’re all born with a conscience (who teaches a 2 year old to hide after breaking a bottle of water?) an inner moral compass that states right from wrong which was placed there by our Creator. I believe this is influenced negatively or positively by our family, experiences, choices and of course the almighty society!!!

I’ll probably still think about this for a while because I don’t have all the answers, I already imagine people will argue with this but I simply put my thoughts on paper. My opinion on this matter may even change because I’m open to learn the truth and be better for it; a place I believe we should all work to be rather than spend energy judging.