Your win won’t always be their loss

Have you ever wanted so badly to revenge? To see someone who hurt you suffer for what they did to you? And you plan to give that great speech when you run into them or how your successful and glamorous life would make them be ashamed for hurting you or doubting your greatness

Well I’ve learnt that it doesn’t always happen that way and even sometimes when you feel like you’ve won, the person you were trying to get back at may not even be remotely aware they were in any type of contest with you……so painful!

There are very few things on earth that hurt like this; the day you wake up and realize some people got away with hurting you can feel like your last, Lol! I’m laughing at myself now because I can remember vividly one day a very short while ago when I experienced this truth……my feeling of victory and balloon of pride deflated in seconds and the heartache that followed can’t be described……someone, people, life had stolen a lot from me and karma stroke it off her record. To say I cried would be a gross understatement

It was unfair! It is unfair; they should suffer for what they did because you didn’t deserve the betrayal, mockery or theft! And it’s worse when these same people go ahead to thrive and succeed in life when all you want is to see them begging on the streets or simply want them to realize what great treasure they lost when they walked out on you

I know this feeling (and so have some other people I know); I blame myself because I try to be forgiving; not stupid but hopeful that though they’ve hurt me before, they may change and see my worth but they didn’t so I held on to false hope that they would pay for their wrongs which would be the perfect compensation for all I’ve suffered. Looking back now I realize that I saw warning signs but I unconsciously or stubbornly held on to such relationships longer than their death date because I was already hoping an opportunity to ‘show them’ would present itself but sadly that wasn’t to be as such wishes don’t come through…….you may never run into an ex the day you’re looking amazing and entwined with an equally HOT new partner; you may never see them cry after realizing their mistake and it may even be something as serious as you never carrying your own biological child even after people laugh at you for being barren.

In time and if you allow yourself, you’ll move past the hurt, you’ll know what to do and how to respond and there is a reward for not trying to take revenge into your own hands; sometimes all you get is Peace of mind but in due time you’ll realize that’s sufficient.

According to one of my favorite characters in a movie Juanita Sims, “Somebody almost got away with me in a plastic bag…!” Don’t give anyone that chance – to take who you are away from you and turn you bitter. Anger can be comforting; it gives a certain level of strength or numbness that allegedly makes it easy to hold a grudge or plot evil but believe me, it’s always pointless.

Yesterday was my birthday, and from about a week to the day all I could count were my losses including situations that I didn’t win. I asked God questions and condemned myself even more for being so weak; I was eventually reminded about how great my life is and how blessed I am to be celebrating life – some people didn’t live to see my age. I ended up having a great day and I believe that I don’t need to see someone feel like they lost to validate my right choices and assurance that I’m moving towards a better life!

XOXO

**I wish all Nigerians a peaceful election on March 28^th; I pray for peace and joy for this nation, may everyone plotting evil be consumed by it and may the best man win.