This eyebrow business

So I was looking into the mirror in a bathroom, making sure my new sexy dark purple Avon lipstick (wink) was still in perfect condition when I looked up and almost fell backwards……a woman beside me had THE EYEBROWS OF LIFE!!!! Like literally, they were thick, jet black and sitting right above her eyes in a supposed straight line.

I was hurt; I was angry at her friends and family who saw her do this and couldn’t stop her but I was especially angry at her because I couldn’t fathom how she even thought her eyebrows were allowed on this planet…..such is reserved for Star wars cast and co.

I’m not being hateful; I’m just tired of women who make the rest of us look bad. Recently on twitter, a male friend of mine was ranting about a girl’s eyebrows and the ‘constantly surprised look’ a lot of girls like to have now adays, he asked “were you born with such a deep arch in your brows?” LOL I felt the irritation from the words he typed.

For some ladies it may not be the terrible line or surprised look, it could be the color of the pencil, abeg aunty which dark skin Nigerian woman have you ever seen with wine or ginger hair? Or if it’s not the color, then it’s the thickness of the brows, please are you Chewbacca?

I’ve also noticed that this bad habit isn’t common to only Nigerian women oh, infact I saw a woman of European or middle eastern descent at the airport once with this eyebrow crime and I almost took her picture, I must have given her an evil eye unconsciously sha because I took it personal.

I know we’re told that the eyebrows frame the face, bring out your eyes, etc (trust me I know this, I’ve done several Makeup courses) however, the word ‘frame’ isn’t a synonym for ‘scare the hell out of people’. Not everyone was born with an innate ability to get the perfect brows but there are still some basic, obvious things we can all see shouldn’t be done and trust me you can learn the art!

How can people take you seriously when you have dark brown hair and wine colored caterpillars on your face claiming they are eyebrows? And guys, please be kind and tell your wives, girlfriends, sisters and friends if they look funny after ‘drawing’ their brows; ego may be bruised but trust me because you mentioned it, she will think twice before she does her make up the next day.

Be your sister’s keeper, let God use you to be a blessing to the world and tell a guilty female today, “Girl, fix that eyebrow!”


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So who is the judge of Beauty?

One day I was watching a food show and BAM!! This ‘I’m of Asian descent yet-just came out of the South American sun- but my paternal grandma is Jamaican looking babe’ just appeared on the screen! I’m NOT joking; she could pass for one of the finest women I had ever seen in my life!

Seriously, I was on the phone and I made a sound; the person I was talking to had to ask “what’s the problem?” I just said something dropped! Actually, something really dropped- my jaw!

Within seconds I was analysing her haircut, skin, eyes, neck (which must have been like 24 inches long) and I couldn’t believe it! She didn’t look like she had ever had surgery or altered anything; she didn’t even seem like she had any form of beauty regime; her natural bronzed glow was most likely a result of spending hours in the sun walking through the market looking for recipes/ingredients (as a restaurateur/chef); her black eyeliner looked like she applied it on the stairs on her way into the studio; in fact her slightly extra-long neck added to her beauty! It was hard not to hate her! She was effortlessly (almost ignorantly) beautiful!

Wait……before you begin to wonder if I have ‘crossed to the other side of the road’, let me get my point out……..to be honest, after about 10 minutes I concluded that there was something not ‘normal’ about her; yep! I told myself “Issalie, there has to be something wrong with her jor!”.

But as a good girl whose conscience isn’t dead I felt bad! I felt bad that I couldn’t just accept that another woman was naturally beautiful without looking like she spent hours in front of the mirror or at the salon (she had a boyish looking hair cut) or at the gym. And besides her physical beauty, she was successful in her career…..the green eyed monster just didn’t want me to rest.

I read an article few months ago written by media personality ToolzO (who is another beautiful lady people just love to hate) and she talked about how women find it so easy to bring down each other. Her article made sense and from that time I made an effort to pay people compliments. Before then I may think of the compliments yet keep mum but I know that when you pay someone a genuine compliment you make them feel good about themselves and I also know that there can never be an overdose of boosting someone else’s self-esteem; truth is when you see that your words make someone feel good, you also feel good about yourself!

As someone obsessed with the idea of beauty and makeup, I find myself looking at people and their features and having an opinion about it. I’ve experienced that once you don’t accept a certain unflattering feature, that burden can kill! True! I’ve also learnt that once you get the chance to alter it (maybe through surgery or creams) you can never be satisfied. Your slightly wide nose actually fits your eyes and if it doesn’t, darling there is the power of contouring! Don’t die!

Really though who declares the beginning and the end of what is beautiful or not?

It’s not so hard, learn to appreciate yourself and others; when I see someone with great skin or nicely done makeup, I ask for their beauty secret; they would even be more than willing to share. At a mall recently, I and a friend complimented the girl at the counter so much she gave my friend her set of bangles; I can also bet we made her day because she truly had good skin and nice full hair and our words only reassured her.

Stop wishing your black thick hair away, one Asian chic may be wondering why God made her own hair straw straight and scanty while you’re here giving your left arm for Malaysian human hair! Remember we’re all imperfectly perfect *wink*

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Who deserves the Big red ‘A’

There is this book called ‘The Scarlet letter’ by Nathaniel Hawthorne about a woman who had a child from an adulterous affair and had to wear a big red ‘A’ on her chest to show her shame.

I got interested in the book when it was adapted in the 2010 movie ‘Easy A’ (a movie I totally love); I never got to read the novel but thanks to Google I read a plot summary and review.

Recently, after one of my discussions about Boy-Girl relationships with a group of friends, I sat alone and asked the question “What makes a woman wayward?” Like what qualities does she need to possess or what traits would she display to be tagged a wayward girl?

Some people frown at tattoos, piercings, drinking alcohol, smoking, having sex, partying, wearing ‘indecent’ dresses, being single with kids (whether you’re unmarried or a widow) etc. I realised I don’t have an answer to this except what society’s stereotypes try to define as right and wrong.

Maybe due to the rebellious nature of being a youth, I’ve had my fair share of desires; I wanted to have red hair (even made a failed attempt at dying my hair), I wanted to have several piercings (was just waiting for the time I was away from the scrutinizing eyes of my parents long enough), enjoyed male attention, wanted to be a single parent and other things I choose not to reveal here (yes, wos ya bizness?) Anyway, after going through these times and from where I stand now, could you say I was wayward? Would you look at me with my almost red hair, double earrings, ankle chain and my amethyst contact lenses and automatically decorate my room in hell? Would you raise your nose at me if I told you I spent the night at a male friend’s house or I drank JD and coke with friends at a party?

Looking at the book the scarlet letter, the man behind the matter never got punished oh! He wasn’t asked to wear the letter ‘A’, be exiled or do a jail term. And even though the book was set in 1642, much hasn’t really changed- some get punished for being socially unacceptable while some get away with it.

This isn’t a gender equality argument, it’s just me wondering why things are the way they are and why humans are quick to ‘name’, ‘tag’ and ‘judge’ a person (often female), an appearance and a matter.

A recent scandal between a Pastor and a lady got people calling her all sort of names; why? Is it because she had pre-marital sex? Did she have sex with herself? Or because she was bold enough to state her experience? I can never be on anyone’s team in this ‘delicate’ matter but did we ever stop to think that maybe she did it from a place of hurt? From a place of exhaustion; tired of the burden of being expected to be a certain way or even plain ignorance?

We can never ALL be the same; I believe God is who I look to for moral guidance, the Word of God and the Holy Spirit convict me. We’re all born with a conscience (who teaches a 2 year old to hide after breaking a bottle of water?) an inner moral compass that states right from wrong which was placed there by our Creator. I believe this is influenced negatively or positively by our family, experiences, choices and of course the almighty society!!!

I’ll probably still think about this for a while because I don’t have all the answers, I already imagine people will argue with this but I simply put my thoughts on paper. My opinion on this matter may even change because I’m open to learn the truth and be better for it; a place I believe we should all work to be rather than spend energy judging.