On being Yellow, having an Afro and going braless

In the past three to four weeks I’ve been thinking of three things; being light skinned, turning my hair natural and being a feminist. I intended to write on these issues and suddenly I started seeing articles on these same things everywhere- if it’s not on a blog, then it’s an interview, rants on twitter or randomly discussed amongst friends.

Recently I saw a tweet which said “dark girls will be extinct by 2020” and it was really funny. But it’s almost true and I won’t say this is anyone’s fault, it’s just the way the world wants it. In an interview recently, author Chimamanda Adichie said “There’s no dark-skinned woman who is a babe. There just isn’t. The dark-skinned woman, she is the Serious One. She is the Friend. She is the Sassy Girl. She is never the person we root for.” She was referring to marginalization of dark skinned women in Hollywood (you see even television doesn’t help) Look at the so called successful Black girls like Beyonce, Halle Berry, Rihanna or Keri Hilson these women are YELLOW! Standing next to me they are NOT of the black race, period!!

Let’s bring it home…..Omotola, Rita Dominic, Tonto Dikeh and even the ladies I run into at the mall or on the streets are NOT dark skinned. A close friend of mine was at a wedding recently and she said the guy on her table didn’t make conversation with her because she isn’t yellow (and believe me this woman doesn’t have insecurity issues, she was simply stating what she noticed and experienced).

I have no solution to this complexion problem; neither am I against being light skinned, I’m simply stating our ‘recent troubles’.

And rocking kinky hair has now become the order of the day, there are even conferences for natural hair lovers where they discuss products and maintenance and the rest. While I have major respect for ladies who rock this look perfectly, I don’t possess the power to be that committed to my hair so weaves, braids and getting a perm will remain my friends.

There’s a ‘trending’ image nowadays, an image of a ‘freedom fighting bohemian styled kinky haired chic that knows her rights and questions every pattern society has created which naturally favors men over women’. WHY? Why do we have to succumb and become the stereotype we claim to be fighting? I went to an event on gender recently and how women need more attention in business and all but after we’ve been saved and delivered from the evil clutches of culture and the men folk what happens? What do we do with it or what have we done so far?

Maybe I’m a feminist (at least that’s what people call me when I begin to argue some issues) but I don’t go overboard by conforming to a certain unchanging mentality or try to have a certain look so people can be intimidated by me. What does it even really mean to be feminist?

People have associated feminism with ‘No sense of humor, equal rights fighter, career junkie, unmarried, hostile, bitter, man hater, unattractive’ and the dirty list goes on but this is not who I am and I can say the same for other females I know who recognize and exercise their rights.

It shouldn’t be about a look, a stereotype; or why can’t the husband cook his own food; people shouldn’t label you ‘a fighter or angry kid’ just from the few sentences that come out of your mouth. It’s acceptable to know who you are and your rights but it’s NOT a competition between genders.

But I just need to add this…….as much as sisters have love for each other, guys you too stop toasting only the light skinned-I-need-you-in-my-life-to-survive-babes, you’re making life difficult for some chocolate-skinned-independent-babes) Thank you!

LOL