“Why would I get Married?”

 

In my moments of frustration I sometimes come up with ridiculous things; to make myself happy or just wondering why things are the way they are, for instance “Why is a Lion considered King of the Jungle?”, “Why is a Goat stubborn?” “Why am I not tall with a flat stomach?”, “Why did Obama marry Michelle and not me?”, “Why am I not somehow related to Warren Buffet?” Ok, Ok seriously…

So one day (can’t remember when exactly) but I was truly irritated about house chores and I just thought, “I swear, I can’t wait to be married and have my own house so I can decide whenever I want to clean it!” I still went about the work na (as I don’t own the house and they no even dash me liver to tell my mother that one)

A while later I'm hanging with my friend and I tell her this thought, she had a good laugh and actually agreed it wasn’t such a bad thing. From that day and through various experiences, I had different ideas on reasons why I want to marry and have my own husband, house, kitchen, closet space etc.

And DON’T judge because I'm sure some of you have thought of worse;

·        I want to get married and have my house so I can put things wherever I want to. I don’t have to return the Milo can in the cupboard because I’m lazy and I may want to drink it again when I come back from work and I can’t start opening the cupboard again, I mean that’s just too much stress!

·        I want to get married and have my own food time table- if I decide chocolate cake for breakfast and NOT yam and eggs then SO BE IT!

·        I want to get married and have my own kitchen so I can paint it a color like navy blue or black so that I don’t have to worry about scrubbing white tiles like the one presently in my mother’s house.

·        I want my kitchen to be extremely massive and I can have a television and all other gadgets that my mother believes is a distraction and shouldn’t be in the kitchen.

·        I want to get married and have my walk in closet. Having to fold my clothes is about to kill me abeg.

·        I want to get married that way I’m sure I will get a birthday present every year (Straight face) Really, why won’t my husband give me a birthday gift every year? As in I can’t wrap my head around the reason why this can even be up for discussion. It’s inevitable oh! And yes I intend to give him a gift every year too including non-birthdays.

·        I want to get married so that there will be someone who will allow me be spoilt, because in my present life no one even looks at my face if I'm sulking or having a bad day! U better pack face well and make yourself happy if you want to survive! But for my husband I CAN and WILL decide to sulk so that he can beg me and pamper me etc

·        I want to get married so that I can have someone to bully for money. YES, his money is OUR money and MY money is MINE (and for my two kids when I have them)

·        I want to get married so I can have someone to flaunt! YESSSSS, I’m tired of seeing my married friends hold on to their husbands in public as if something is about to carry them away. Abeg me sef can like to hold on to someone nau

·        I want to get married so I don’t have to worry about the mechanic or electrician or carpenter again. If someone ever hits my car let me have a man to call and lament to abeg!

·        I want to get married and have a free masseuse, I can’t be dashing the spa money always nau. I will return the favour I promise.

So I asked two of my friends as I’m sure I don’t have such thoughts alone. That’s how one said “I want to get married so that I can murder the zillionaire and become a rich widow!” (No need to comment) The laughter that followed almost killed us.

Apparently my friends share my idea of being able to choose whatever you want to eat for breakfast.

·        “……so I won’t have to drive myself to work.”

·        “So I can whip out his credit card for all my purchases!” Ol’ boy girls are materialistic oh, me sef shock.

·        I want to get married so my husband and I can be going on trips together.

·        I want to get married so that I can get someone to be harassing without feeling bad.

Truly I have realized that life may not always come this easy but there is absolutely nothing wrong with a Young woman dreaming. With the help of God we cook, clean, make our own money and fight our battles but abeg who doesn’t want to sometimes drop it all and rest so please do NOT judge a Sisteh! TENZ