I do not mean being a chatter box and just
disturbing everyone’s peace but I mean constantly saying what is on my mind or
asking questions
And it has got me in trouble or being
misunderstood.
I hate assumptions so if there is something in my
head, I think it is only right that I ask or state it so I can have
understanding and know how to act rather than sit down, thinking and guessing
what the truth could be.
When I am stuck in this place of not being sure if
I should say anything it completely unnerves me and I have no peace. And when I
feel the peace I crave being threatened I recoil; from the person or the
situation.
I realised this is normal with a lot of people;
not willing to talk and just let things slide which I think is immature and
frustrating. I used to hate confrontation but I see now that it wasn’t
addressing people that worried me, it was being able to get my point or enquiry
across clearly without being offensive or misinterpreted.
I was talking about this with a friend and I asked
her if it was possible this was a problem peculiar to people of my nationality?
Or were people that way all over the world? Not willing to talk and express
their truth? So they send mixed signals or display various negative emotions
without even being conscious and considerate of it.
I think it is weakness or laziness because when
you get a vibe or you are unsure of what to do, it requires that you take the
time to think objectively, honestly, to be sure of what you do not understand,
how it makes you feel and also what you want so that your questions and
conversation will bring you the answers and clarity you desire and by effect
peace in your relationships.
While I typed this post, I took a break to scroll
through Instagram and I found a quote by Alicia Keys talking about how she no
longer wants to cover up who she truly is; so maybe that is my same dilemma,
maybe I am too open and I expect same from people; there is no need to keep
anyone guessing or confused, there is no gain in that!
I want to know where I stand; with friends, as I handle
daily deliverables at home, at work, in my business dealings and even with my
partner. If another person can give me answers then I will seek; I think it
should be that simple so why do people prefer complicated?