I’ve battled with ‘semi-writers-block’ for
almost a month, worrying myself sick of what I needed to write on pencil
goddess. What would get people’s attention? What would get them to laugh? What would
make them impressed?
I’ve received different opinions about my blog- a
mix of good and honest reviews but all putting me under pressure. I realized I had
begun to limit myself into a style of writing or storytelling and that wasn’t my
original intent for pencil goddess….i simply wanted a place to talk!
Well……the year 2012 is almost over and as is the
‘unconscious culture’ people inevitably take stock of the events of the year
and how much has been accomplished in the list written at the beginning of the
year.
Honestly, I don’t remember my list, I may have
an idea of what I wanted but somewhere along the year (like April) I misplaced
it- both mentally and physically. I mean there was just nothing ……..i was
officially tired.
Tired of the need to impress; tired of high
hopes that were constantly dashed; tired of having a master plan that I never executed;
tired of being boxed into time and space of a year- 365 days of being on the
road to a place that may have been an illusion all along.
Don’t get it twisted, it’s good to have
expectations, it makes a whole lot of sense to plan but the achievements of
these plans are on whose terms and timing? How do you control things like age,
death, change, maturity? How do you let go of a dream that was supposed to
simply remain a dream but you stepped out into reality with something so
abstract, it couldn’t fit in? How do you know that somethings are side attractions,
sites or sign boards but not the destination- simply part of the journey?
Well it’s December and we have 24 days to 2013 according
to the Roman calendar we follow, while the Chinese celebrated New Year some months
ago, Muslims celebrated Islamic New Year in November and the Jewish calendar
has its own arrangement!
So for me, my New Year starts Now! Or Yesterday
or Tomorrow! Someone said your morning is whenever you wake up, I agree. So get
up and do what needs to be done, get over the things you should have done, it’s
too late to be upset just move on. Buy that dress, get that hair cut, start
that class, write that article, forgive who you need to (honestly this is a bit
hard so just ignore them till you realize you’re no more angry, LOL), get organized,
if you’re failing on your diet (like I am a few times) let it go and continue
from where you stopped, if you expected to be engaged and you’re not ……well,
pray (I'm sorry don’t have relationship advice) God will answer you. Whatever it
is GET OVER IT.
This isn’t an excuse for laziness but really
what else can you do but get up when you feel you’re down? Moving forward isn’t
even an option, it’s NECESSARY.
In fact re-write your list if you have to, there
are no rules and God isn’t wicked. Lol HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!